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I feel bad about myself being so bored person but i am not . i cant able to trust anyone around me. my childhood was cursed like my mom so harsh to me for everything punishment will be like different way tied up my hands to window and keep warm steel scale near to my legs . clock me up in a darkroom. when i try to climb up she use to beat me from outside i fall down from the door and blank out hurts me with harsh words i cant even digest her words which she scold me is so hard in my age 12 i tried to suicide but on that time i do not have guts to do. later days goes on i known her personal secrets of her life so she stops beating at the age of 20 so still now she cant able to dominate me . my dad was good man he loves us a lot take care of us like superman. i am a pampered girl my dad wont even low me anywhere to go alone now he is no more . i miss him very badly . Biggest mistake of my dad is he trust my mom a lot . He thought she will take care of our family so more debits to my dad . so from my childhood i so scared to handle social life . even i wont go to shops i scared off boys because i got abused by my schoolmates so i feel so scared to walk on road i get sweaty palms when i saw a group of boys standing in the street end till i cross them my heart beat fast . all of sudden one fine day my dad ask me to find a job because bad situations which he got lot of debits . so i got upset how can i handle this because i have to go to job and faces the peoples out there and finally decided to step out. i faced lot of issues at my work places . my mom & her sister both ruined our family and my dad peace so only he got ill soon . i tried my best to take care my dad . but my bad luck he left me in this hell. In between this I FALLEN IN LOVE WITH A GUY just 2 year its like beautiful part of my life. 3 yr its started fading out slowly i am totally broken . only think in my mind is i shouldn't force him to stay in my life . when i said lets break he said okay . i got married to man who fooled me literally and chasing many womans that doesn't workout for me so i separated . always i loved him still now deep inside me i love him with my whole heart . after 9 yr he came back like he broke up with that girl which leads there 9 yrs relationship near to marriage . i was also happy for him . but he came back for a mental support . suddenly hold my hands i felt the same magic feel again . i known i am an blunt idiot to again accepting him and make myself hurt more & more . but i dont known how he decided to say this that he said lets get married but with few list of things to be done in 6 months otherwise he wont . i got into a lot of financial problem simple middle class family which i run with my salary he knowns everything . he is business man now his class is different from mine . i cant able to do what he demand he said i gave you time you didnt utilize it so i cant to do anything now. and the worst problem is i already married he is not married yet his family wont accept it and i got health issues too PCOD & THYRIOD may be i cant give birth by chances i can also . he is so confused and left me again . i felt like why such things happening in my life every time i feel so bad and i have to run far away somewhere . but i dont known where to go . but one thing i do not have a suicide thoughts . because i came cross many things which shuttered me . almost i lost myself i forgot to cry . all i became a calm person with lot thoughts running side me .
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You have had many crosses to bear but now as an adult you won't have problems like others do. The little things they see as problems you won't even notice. I know this because I have had many traumas in my life too. I wish you all the best for the future.
ReplyContinued: I also had a very nasty mother and a horrible childhood. Now I have God with me and Jesus brought The Holy Spirit to me as well. God answers my prayers and I have had many miracles in my life. So turn to God and have Him always in your life too. Your life will change.
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