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I feel extremely sad
3 months ago · · Need Advice
Ever since I fell from my so-called 'throne' or the 1st place, I've felt extremely sad. I really don't know what to do anymore. My grades started to fall from my expectations, my productivity and creativity is letting me down, and I feel like everyone hates me.
The fall from the highest place hurts the most that I can't even stand up to move on. I really don't want to hate myself for it but everything I do or say makes me hate myself even more. I started having suicidal thoughts and I can't say this issue to anyone. I actually resorted to self harm every time I do something wrong. My mind is clouded with judgmental thoughts that makes me feel even more sad.
That empty feeling inside you that you can't even smile genuinely anymore, noticed a lot more insecurities, and feeling that you're not enough is the worst.
I feel like my life is worthless anymore because I am not thankful for what I have. A complete family, friends, and many more but it still feels like it's not what I need. I want to end my life but I don't know what will I gain if I continue living