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Last night I had a dream that lasted for years. That everyone was judging and hating me because of my pain. I was going to get a counselor and they laughed and called me weak. It felt like I had been crying forever. I woke up around 3 with a pounding headache behind my eyes. The dream had physically caused pain. I drank some water and got back into bed. Trying to divert my mind to something in my life that comforts me, but I realized that everyone who is around me as of right now, doesn’t know my full story and can’t even begin to understand what hell I’ve been through. The pain I’ve felt. So this dream really hurts me in the deepest way because it just makes me believe more, that I’m meant to be somewhere else, maybe with other people, living a whole other life away from who I am. I want to stand on the top of the earth and scream and cry and finally laugh at the mediocrity that lay behind me. I’m more than the dirt on people’s shoes who have stepped on me. I’m more than a person that people can take advantage of. I’m more because I know what drives people, and I know the desires deep in their black souls. I know I’m not like them. I’m a mountain. I’m strong and I’ve gotten this way by the earth shaking and shifting beneath my feet. People walk on me and try to push me, but later find out that I’m stronger than they’ll ever be, and rise higher than they ever will. I cast shadows, but I can soar above the clouds and look directly into the light of the sun and know that it was all worth it.
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