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Possible trigger warnings RANTING / venting so just don't read:
Why do you do this to me mom and dad? I just can't anymore. You've been nothing but a thorn in my side dad since you came here. It's not my fault you ran out of drugs IS IT? I can't believe mom even takes up for him foolish behavior getting drunk calling us names then claiming no memory of it. Why? Have the fucking nerve and audacity after acting like don't worry babout tomorrow fuck it get drunk today.
Then when he runs out he comes begging me for my medication. "I need to borrow some of your medicine" he says. WTF? I don't have enough to carry us both how fucking stupid can you be when you "buy" off the street 2 or more times what I'm prescribed but then squander waste and get drunk on them putting me n mom through hell which u refuse to acknowledge or apologize for and HAVE AUDACITY THE DO THIS TO ME. ITS NOT MY FUCKING FAULT YOU DO WHAT YOU DO! IT'S NOT MY FAULT YOU'RE OUT.
Then when I tell the truth he just says "drop it". Can't the universe give me a break? I can't take any more of this. It's not my fault dad makes stupid decisions and then makes us suffer and pay for it. Own your mistakes and deal with them yourself dad.
First I brought you here out of homelessness. Yet you give my aunt credit for that. I paid your bus fare and apt rent deposit all of it. You treated me like an atm machine til you ran me out if money then just wanting to dispose of me and beat me and take your misery of others and me cause you're such a coward out on me. So is it any wonder I've thought of murdering him 10000 times especially in his drunken sleep states after cussing us putting us through hell? In this world nobody has my back when I had
theirs. Now I'm just a piece of usable garbage to them their behavior changes so much I still can't believe mom took his side agree all hell he's put us through. I'm stuck here or I'd say figure it out for yourself like he did me when he n mom ran up cards bills and me out of money. So what did I do to deserve all this? I'm strong but I'm not THAT strong. All other relatives have saidπto me so I can't even get one night away from here from them. I don't think anybody understands how this feels. It was never my job to keep them up in life. Or my dad's drug addiction. Why won't the universe repay him? You just gave no idea how I'm tired of paying for my dad's mistakes in life. He'd always seek out to con somebody until everybody dumped him on me causeno body else would have him. I'm so done here. I don't deserve this.
Take responsibility for your own actions dad and quit expecting me to bail you out EVERY time you screw up in life. It's all he's ever done. Even my snobby uncle said dad needs to stand on his own feet before he was shipped here which I did not know till later. This is about the most stupidest you've screwed up dad. It's the middle of the month and your drug co nnection don't come through til next month yet you expect me to bail you out with my own fucking legal prescribed medication?
And yet I'm the one who gets called crazy when I either don't cooperate or tell them the truth how it is and mom takes his side when he's abusive to me and her. I can't take anymore of this my God help meπ. You're drug ADDICTION is not my responsibility dad fmlπͺπ«π€―π π π π π π π π πππππππ π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π πππππππ π π π π π he's stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid beyond words. Why just why why why why why? You know better than this dad yet you still do it. Oh it's ok screw tomorrow my kid or somebody will bail me out I don't care about what I do to others or take regard for my actions not apologize he's like . Are my feelings not valid? Of course they are. I'm so done take me away from this awful place
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