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Fear of Loss:
3 months ago · · Need Advice
TW: BDSM. Read at your own risk if you are under 16.
I am into BDSM. He is my master and I'm his slave. I enjoy pain and he enjoys giving me pain. I always obey him. Anyways. I have a private Instagram account where only he and me follow each other, no one else. I post videos of myself doing the commands he gives me (Cutting the words slut, whore etc on myself, writing out that I'm an ugly slut etc 100 times, slapping myself etc). I enjoy these things. But we have a virtual relationship, it would have been more fun if he did these things to me in person and so much more.
Anyways. Today he told me that he has a gf. I asked him if he will end the BDSM contract. He said he'll think about it.
I'm really scared of losing him. You don't know how much it means to me by having a master and following him. It's rare. Like I have other masters, but they're not as commanding. I like this guy, but I don't want to lose him. What should I do???
I enjoy any pain except for his loss. I'm serious, he always makes me feel so confident and better about myself through all his commands. How will I live without him?? I don't wanna lose him.