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TW: BDSM. Read at your own risk if you are under 16.
I am into BDSM. He is my master and I'm his slave. I enjoy pain and he enjoys giving me pain. I always obey him. Anyways. I have a private Instagram account where only he and me follow each other, no one else. I post videos of myself doing the commands he gives me (Cutting the words slut, whore etc on myself, writing out that I'm an ugly slut etc 100 times, slapping myself etc). I enjoy these things. But we have a virtual relationship, it would have been more fun if he did these things to me in person and so much more.
Anyways. Today he told me that he has a gf. I asked him if he will end the BDSM contract. He said he'll think about it.
I'm really scared of losing him. You don't know how much it means to me by having a master and following him. It's rare. Like I have other masters, but they're not as commanding. I like this guy, but I don't want to lose him. What should I do???
I enjoy any pain except for his loss. I'm serious, he always makes me feel so confident and better about myself through all his commands. How will I live without him?? I don't wanna lose him.
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I can't tell you how much I have sat through trying to figure this one out. I've read novels. I've read personal stories. I've sat through some of the support groups. Some of them make me want to throw up. But, I have read them all with an open mind. I truly wanted to understand. I've take that bdsm test. Had my friends take it with me, with some surprising results, might I add. Despite all my research, I do not understand this, at all.
Why can't he write something nice on you instead? Why can't he write some positive words encouragement instead of something negative? Why does he have to be cruel?
Someone once jokingly said I would free you all, just to watch you go crawling back. And, he was right. It never occurred to me before I started researching someone could want to be subjugated like this.
I talked with a guy once who was a bdsm master. He was a complete jackass. I had to be a jackass for him to understand that he might have a slave, but I wasn't one of them.
You realize you are teaching that man to be a j@ck@ss in his everyday interactions with people, right? In order for the average person to deal with people like him, they have to be mean to him. Did you know that? That outside your relationship, people are mean to him because the likelihood of him mentally separating his j@ck@ssery with you from the world is slim to none? If you do not care about your mental health, do you even care about his mental health ? Or what about mine? The stranger who has to deal with his bullsh!t?
Y'all are making monsters with this foolishness. Some of us barely made it out of our childhood without becoming monsters, and here you are encouraging it. Y'all get on my nerves.
Replyhuh.. jackass is allowed. wow.. too cool
ReplyHi,
That is why I added the trigger warning. You have a misconception. My mental health is perfect. My childhood was perfect. This is only a sxual fetish. He also has a fetish of harming others and being the dominant one. We found each other. There are many people out there like me and him. It's called the BDSM team. I am not harming anyone's mental health. We are not monsters because this is consentual. I don't ask others for this, he doesn't ask others for this. It's a relationship thingy between me and him. So it's not monsters, unless we do it to other people against their will. It's a fetish.
ReplyYou asked for advice. My advice was to stop and I showed you reasons why. You didn't ask for support. I wouldnt have responded if you wanted support
ReplyTry fighting for his love❤️
ReplyIt's amazing the way your words created a sensation in me.. I could feel your love for him.. your love (forgive me if I am using the wrong word) is like a gentle child.. I do not have an advice on how to keep him in your life but if this guy of yours doesn't work out I'm pretty sure there is another person who is so brilliantly blessed who could have you and your heart.
ReplyOh, I fully feel for you. I've been there. It's extremely hard to find that perfect D/s dynamic, and when you find it online you always ha d that fear that in their real life they will find something, and you'll lose them because of distance or circumstance.
I am sure that he won't come to a decision lightly and I'm sure it won't be easy for him to take back the collar, it will be hard for him too, and if it does happen it won't make what you had a lie.
Reply