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We got together after me having a crush on you since the fourth grade. I always thought you were pretty, smart, and funny. You made me smile even when you did absolutely nothing. You were the sunlight in my darkness, the love that was in my air, the beauty to my beast. I got jealous every time someone looked or talked to you. I don't know why but, you just made me feel complete somehow. I knew I loved you but I don't know why I fell out of love with you. When I broke up with you, it wasn't because you and him were being "touchy". It's because I was confused about my feelings and didn't want you to be the only one giving love in the relationship. After our breakup I started to feel empty. I tried getting over you by dating other people and having a crush on others but you were just stuck on my mind. I wanted to scream my lungs out, I couldn't get you off my mind. I drove myself to insanity with your missing love. We're still friends but the way I look at you, feel towards you, and want to love you isn't in a friendly way. I want to be there with you whenever you smile, cry, or feel any other emotion. But then again, I just feel like if I tell you about my feelings and we date, I'm just going to fuck it all up again. I want you, so fucking bad. But it seems as if destiny isn't letting me run to you. It's pulling me back into old habits that I tried so hard to get rid of; Lying, cheating, smoking, and depression. When I was with you, I felt no signs of depression or anxiety. I just felt piece and love. But now that I'm without you, I feel hatred. I feel as if my heart is in a tornado and is being ripped to pieces, slowly. I want you back, please, don't let destiny keep you away from me. Let me run into your arms and give you the love that I should've given you in the first place.
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I'm sorry J but you have to be able to walk.
ReplyWhat it I don't want to walk... what if I'm tired of walking... do I give up?
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