What are you looking for?
a joy with remorse
2 months ago · · Im sorry ,
To my Regret,
For many years you have stayed with me, I personally thank you for putting up with my undesirable qualities. Meeting you nine years ago was arguably one of the best moments of my life. I have just transferred from the city to the countryside, leaving all of what I know miles away.
I would be honest that I was not very fond of you. You liked to cry a lot and your good acts grates on my nerve, for reasons I do not know 'till this day. I did not care for whatever you did, until we were both partnered to dance for the school. I realized that despite your random acts of giddiness, you also can be serious.
I think that changed caused me to see you somewhat in a different light.
Despite your everything I see in you as a demerit, you rise above and beyond.
And now I know why you are confused on why I wrote you such a letter?
I do not know.
Maybe it's the feeling that I have let you down or that I knew you gave up.
I admit that I may have been sending you mixed signals on my current feelings, because I do not know how to differentiate platonic love to the romantic kind. And when I realized that you have moved on and found someone else, but I was always too late to realise that I felt the same way.
I have written countless letters that stacked on the secret corner of my closet, filled with all the emotions I wished I have shown you then, and maybe admit that I liked you.
I should have kissed your cheek on our graduation day, said 'thank you for everything' and walked away. Then, maybe, I wouldn't have wrote so many unsent letters. Then, maybe, we would still be able to connect.
But one fact that I know is that it might not be as intense as yours, but it was there however faint it may be.
I'll just end it here and say anonymously to the world, that I wish you happiness, wherever and whoever you spend it be.
Wishing you a happy content life,