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I need a clear head. I mean it hurts at the moment. But I'm so sleep deprived I was hallucinating today (a bit scary honestly I saw a giant pink tarantula go behind my bed) and my mind was like an expanding cartoon. I guess lack of sleep (I still can't) is catching up to me. I'm a bunch of varying emotions sad angry bitter alone lonely depressed. Sick of being mistreated by my dad . He won't apologize. My other family don't care. Social media don't care. Sick of seeing others do good but me feel like a failure. Sick of being forsaken acted like I'm a loser. I'm as valid as anyone else. God is no respector of persons. People full of themselves should consider that. I desperately need peace and sleep. Screw all those who want nothing to do with me. And those who act better than me. In some aspects life doesn't feel fair. But I'm grateful for what blessings I do have. Maybe I'm going crazy idk . I'm not crazy for being angry about mistreatment though. Dad refuses to apologize for anything. Someday soon we will be separated. I can't believe mom posted a pic on FB of me and it got only 2 likes out of all family I have there. And people who know me. I hate social media. At least I know I'm valid even if nobody acknowledges me. God cares for me far more than people do thank God for that.
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