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Yesterday I intercepted a text message that wasn’t for me— apparently my estranged aunt is pregnant. It was supposed to be a surprise. I will admit that I’m surprised, but I’m not sure how I feel about it. Whether this is a good surprise or bad one, I cannot tell. There are reasons for either side.
Why I’m not happy about it: I don’t even like my aunt. It’s not that she’s mean to me or anything, but she has her head raised perpetually up her ass. She doesn’t think for herself, ever, and tries to push her incredibly flawed viewpoints on everyone around her. If I tell her I don’t want to discuss politics, it makes no difference. She keeps rattling on about how much she loves Biden and why everyone else should too. I am very afraid that I’m going to see her more because she’s going to want to flaunt the fact she’s knocked up to everyone around her. And I’m also very afraid of pregnant women— the thought of something feeding off of you and growing inside you (like a parasite) is enough to make me vomit. i can’t bear to look at pregnant woman because of this. That coupled with the fact that I don’t even like her in the first place… is why I’m not happy.
Why I’m mildly interested: for all of my life, I’ve been the youngest one in the family. People have talked down to me, obsessed over me, at every gathering. They treat me like the baby of the family because I AM the youngest one. I just want my dignity. If this pregnancy is successful and I do end up with a cousin however, hopefully nobody will give a shit about me anymore and they’ll just leave me alone, instead coddling my cousin. I’ve dreaded family gatherings for this reason— I get no respect and people obsess over me. Perhaps having a cousin would be a good thing because it would take the spotlight off of me. I hate being in the spotlight.
So now that you’ve heard both sides, why am I posting about it here, rather than talking to my mom about it (after all, it is her sister)? I’m worried that I’m going to get into trouble for reading the text message. I want her to be able to trust me. So yeah, until she breaks the news to me, this is my secret to bear alone. I’ve told my best friend, and now I’m telling you, reader of this post. The aunt I don’t like is pregnant. I don’t know how I feel about it. I can’t tell anyone that I know in case I get into trouble for reading the text that wasn’t for me.
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