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I feel so lonely.
I have my boyfriend, my “bestfriend”
My 2 flat mates that I don’t know well and I really dislike them and their personality.
I do not speak to my father or mother. They are both in different countries from me. They are divorced anyway and both have abused me for my whole life so I prefer not being with them or their sides of the family.
My boyfriend is moving back to his country in around half a year because he’s been planning that for around 4 years.
And my “bestfriend” doesn’t really talk to me much because I have a very difficult time talking to her in general, or really anyone except my boyfriend but he has alcohol issues but we’re both Eastern European so it seems normal even though we live in the UK.
He is really mean to me sometimes and I don’t know if it’s because of my past but just everything is really hard for me to do or to express my feelings correctly and he puts a lot of pressure on me and doesn’t get it. I beg him to stay and not leave back to his country but he tells me half the time he’ll think about it, other times that he’s leaving no matter what as his whole family is going back aswell.
All I have right now is work.
I have nobody anymore. I feel so lonely.
I can’t talk to anyone really, everyone just says the same things “it’s just for now”
Ita always been bad. It just get worse.
I tried to go to a GP to talk to them about my mental health but I have be 18.
And I have to pay for a psychologist but I can’t afford that.
I feel so lost and lonely and like it’s never going to get better because for the past 4 years it’s only gotten worse.
I don’t want to believe that I’ve lost everything at 17, it’s too early.
I always try so hard but it’s never enough. Not for my family, not for friends not for anyone. I feel like a failure. It hurts so bad.
What do I do with my life?
What is there left to do?
You might think I’m exaggerating but really. I’m not, I have nothing left, absolutely nothing.
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Hi. I’m very sorry to hear about your struggles. And I get still feeling hopeless even if everyone tells you the pain is just momentary.
I want to tell you to please be kind to yourself. It’s ok to feel like this. Your emotions and feelings are valid.
I think some people are dealt an easier hand in some areas of life. There are people who are born into more comfortable lives, and they succeed, and that’s ok. They might have different struggles.
Then there’s those of us who are in difficult circumstances. Circumstances that can seem impossible. And there are moments where the pain is too much, and it feels like we have nothing.
Loneliness is a silent epidemic. You are not alone in feeling lonely. It’s ok. It’s ok to maintain distance from people who abuse you.
I’m very sorry about your struggles with your boyfriend. If someone is not being kind or treating you with respect, then they are not worth your time. Sometimes things just don’t work out between people. It’s nothing you’ve done.
I don’t have much good advice for making friends. I don’t really have any myself. Perhaps you could try making an account on websites like Reddit, where people get together in communities to talk about stuff they like.
You are strong. You can rise above this. Your pain is not you. Breathe, and remember that things can always improve. There are many people who rise above their painful circumstances and live life happily.
Focus on the little things that are good. Be patient with yourself. Get some sun. Help an old lady cross the street. Try some YouTube meditations. I personally really like the channel Lauren Ostrowski Fenton. Her meditations help me relax. If you are religious, take some time to pray and be with that.
Things can get better. Tomorrow is a new day. Be kind to yourself, and work towards your goals. I believe in you.
ReplyI don’t know who you are but, whoever you are I wish you have the best days and your life is only filled with happiness and success. With this paragraph you’ve made me feel better than anyone really has in the past few years. Thank you so much. ❤️
ReplyHello - You have gone through a lot in 17 years and it may seem like things will never change but they will. My heart hurts for you when I read "I have nothing left...". Your adult life is just beginning. Please don't give up. Are you going to school? Pursuing a passion? You need something to focus on - a goal to achieve. If your current friends don't support you, find new friends. Not so easily done but do you have any interests where you can join a group? Hiking/Book Club/Dancing/ etc. ??? In the US, we have mental health hotlines we can call for support. Is there anything like that in the UK? I hope you find joy soon.
ReplyMaybe try giving God a chance, truly I know how it is to feel alone and feeling I have nothing else or a purpose even but God is getting me through.
ReplyHi, I know this is the cheesiest thing the you probably don't want to hear but it is true when they say
"it gets better". Because it really does. If you asked me when I was 17 if I would still be alive to see 23 I would have said hell no. I felt I had no one. But, luckily when I was at my worst, I met my now boyfriend of 4 1/2 years at work. Just a couple years ago I met my now bestfriend also at my workplace. They make me so happy and just meeting them saved my life. Everything has completely changed. My point is you're going to have so many people leave and enter your life. You're going to meet so many people that make you feel so many things. You'll meet them when you least expect it but you'll meet them when you need it. Coming from a person who had absolutely no hope for the future or for the time being, hang in there. Please. Your life can be beautiful and it will be beautiful. Find the little things that make you happy. Whether its drawing, writing, reading or just listening to music. Find a good outlet. You may have nothing right now but you could have everything. One thing you do have is life and the ability to have a beautiful one! I believe you will get there and you will be happy! Please don't stop being you and you'll find that little light at the end of the tunnel. I promise.
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