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Hi, it's getting hard these days. I've been body shamed so much to the point that I hate myself for eating. Getting body shaming by others, it's fine. Really hurts but still tolerable. But when your own mom keep putting you down, calling you names, the pain exceed to another level. I'm 20 this years and 5'3. And I gain weight so much due to stress and binge-eating. Now, I'm 76 kg. My mom keep on telling me how hideous I am, and how nothing will fit me anymore. She never said that in a nice way and I'm dying trying to tolerate myself. I really cry to myself yesterday because she called me fat for eating at 9pm. I was very hungry and ate a bread in the morning and have to accompany her shopping until 3pm. Literally not eating anything. And when we came back, I had to finish my assignment until almost 9pm. Still not eating anything because I was rushing to complete my work. The moment I ate something that night, I got called names and that I was supposed to eat before 6pm as I'm already fat enough. Now, I really wish to eat nothing. I will cry when eating because I know that I'm not good enough. I love myself but why can't she be nicer to me? I'm tired and mentally drained. Wish me luck.
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This is terrible, and you should not be talked to this way. Eat what you want out of spite. You are beautiful.
Replythank you but it's just so hard to love myself when ppl keep on telling otherwise. I'm happy with my current life but I just wonder why my mom can't do the same? It's so painful everyday knowing that you're just a burden. That I'm not even worth. I'm studying online at home now, but it's awful. She won't let me do my assignment in peace. I'm tired. But thank you for the kind words. I appreciate it so much.
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