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for someone who wants to wait for marriage, i do think about sex a lot.
it’s on me cause there’s a lot of that intimacy in the books i read, some movies/shows here and there that i watch…
but here’s the thing, my “sex media” consumption isn’t excessive, i don’t watch porn either. i’ve seen a video in middle school cause of my friends making fun of it but i haven’t let it skew my view of sex.
tmi but yes i’ve experimented with myself a bit, out of curiosity. it’s just weird i don’t really have anyone to talk to about this stuff. i bet a lot of people cant talk about it either.
rough fucking seems cool but there’s something about making love that just… gets to me? haha. amongst other things, i definitely believe that in having sex with someone, a part of you goes to them and vice versa. there’s the chemistry/scientific side too. oxytocin and what not.
sounds messed up but the world is corrupt and people are imperfect and will probably let you down - but i still believe that there’s someone out there who will love me and see me the way i see myself? i will never be able to love myself perfectly, but then again i don’t see myself the way other people see me.
i watched Endless Love on netflix (cause i LOVE brooke shields and i loved the concept of Blue Lagoon), but endless love kinda pissed me off haha. i could feel that they both loved each other so much, but i just couldn’t believe that someone could love another so badly that they couldn’t just wait 30 days to see each other again? ik ik it’s just a movie but still.
there was a person i thought i loved but i was just immature at the time and didn’t understand the importance of my priorities. now i just feel very headstrong about my goals and idk i feel like i have a lot of life to live and a lot of work to do and a lot of education to get- does love really do that to you?
the people i watched the movie with told me that i would understand once i experienced it- the type of love that pushes you to keep going. life without the other person feels uncomfortable and out of place, like an itch you can’t scratch. apparently it’s the type of love that invades your whole body and mind not just your heart.
man.. where was i? right, sex. orgasms sound great but i cant stop thinking about the process of getting there. the build up and the tension and sounds and the heat and smell and sweat and taste and wow.
yk sometimes these thoughts are so intrusive. they come OUT OF NOWHERE. i will literally be eating soup and get a dirty thought. i will be studying and watching a video on cell communication and then next thing i know i’m fantasizing about who knows what. i don’t have an s/o or anything. idek this is random.
i hope i didn’t make anyone uncomfortable but yeah this is a glimpse of my frustration and curiosity and dreaming and thoughts.
i think making love and sex are so special but for some reason i can’t stop thinking about it lately? i’ve taken a few cold showers and it just doesn’t help. weird but yeah !
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I know what you mean..although I'm not waiting until marriage, until now it just has been my decision to not have sex, and that's fine, I know I could have if I wanted to. The thoughts are there as well tho. And it's normal. Also it depends on your age, if you're younger then it's probably your hormones that are starting and there is nothing wrong with that. Everyone goes through that. It is a normal drive and instinct of us.
Don't worry too much about it and accept it, just try to don't get addicted to it and everything will be fine ^ ^
ReplyI agree just do it when your ready.
ReplySo many people. for so many reasons, decide to wait until marriage to have sex. There's certainly nothing wrong with that.
It's only natural, though, that you would think about sex from time to time prior to the big day. Just because you aren't doing it yet, doesn't mean your hormones aren't asking you to do it.
Holding out for marriage isn't for everyone, though, and I wonder if too many people put too much thought into it and try to hold off for invalid reasons. My wife and I are swingers and we do not associate sex with love at all. To us, it's just another fun activity you do with another person. We can go fishing with others and have a good time, we can shoot pool with others and have a good time, we can play board games with others and have a good time, so we do the same with sex.
There's seemingly no protection that can prevent the spread of STDs or prevent pregnancy but there are certainly ways, methods, devices, and procedures that can really, really reduce the chances of these things happening to you. Holding out for other reasons, to me, seems unusual but I certainly understand that everyone handles these things differently.
Everyone goes about this at their own pace so there's no need to change anything you're doing, or any plans or goals you've set for yourself in this regard, if you still feel comfortable with your decision. Just know that your hormones will certainly tell you, weather you're holding out or not, that sex could be fun for you so don't become overly concerned when those kinds of thoughts pop in your head. It's OK if you re-evaluate your initial decisions and make changes to your plan(s) along the way. If you do make changes, don't feel like you've failed...just know that you changed your original plans. Seeing that you're posting here questioning it all makes me wonder if you're getting ready to cross that bridge.
I'm not trying to sway you in one direction or another. I simply wanted to explain how people like me treat sex (as any other fun activity you do with others) and then to acknowledge that it's quite normal for you to have the feelings and thoughts you're having enough though you're planning to hold off on sex until the right moment.
It's unfortunate, I think, that so many people find these topics "off limits". Everyone is thinking about sex, masturbating, or having sex but so many people don't want to discuss. I think many feel like, "They'll think I'm crazy if they know I like rough sex" or "They'll think less of me if they know I masturbate almost every day". I don't know, that list could go on and on but, the truth is, everyone is in this boat and, I find that if you get to know someone well enough (can be just a best friend or a small group of good friends), it's pretty easy to talk about things like this. If you take the first step, you'll probably be surprised to find that the other person has been waiting to discuss things like this as well. I'm older and can say that, in my own experience, you grow close enough to a person in time that you can really talk about anything. I hope you'll soon be able to identify someone in your crowd that you can feel comfortable enough with to open up and discuss with them. Again, I'm sure this person has things they want to get out in the open as well.
Good Luck!
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