My 'significant' other committed suicide :(

I don't know which is worst. Finding out on social media of my partner's suicide. Or walking around for a whole week, being completely oblivious that he had already passed away.

Or is it that I was feeling slightly annoyed my text msgs and phone calls went unanswered that day he died.

Or is it that, when laying in bed late the night before, gazing in to each other's eyes he told me for the first time, he not only loves me but is IN love with me, and because we had a couple drinks, I wanted us to both be sober, so I told him I will reply when we wake up, (which is that I too am totally IN love with him too, and he knew this and he understood and wanted it to be a special moment also) and we never got the chance that day and that was the last time I saw him.

Moral of the story..... Say what you mean and say it in the moment. Feel how you feel. Do NOT wait. Time is happening now and is far to short to wait until tomorrow.....