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Lately I've been... I don't know what you'd call it. Depressed but short term. I just feel like I can't be real with anyone around me. I don't like who I am, so I don't act according to who I am a lot of the time, and I don't lower that barrier around anyone ever. I rarely act any way other than happy regardless of how I feel because I don't want to be a burden. I'm just tired of it.
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This might not be super helpful advice, but when when get tired of trying to appeal to everyone else or appear some other way than what you're feeling, remember you're not doing anything for anyone but you. It sounds selfish, but everyone should remember that. You're not "you" for anyone other than you. People should feel happy and comfortable because they feel happy and comfortable. Or upset, or angry, or sad. They should not shift their personality for other people. It's like you said, tiring and depressing, and no one should figure out who they are based off of other peoples emotions. There's no box that you have to stay in. You're not burdening anyone other than yourself, and if you are really actually burdening people with your emotions, those people don't seem like the right people to be around. You'll never know who you are if you keep trying to be who everyone else says you are.
So fuck it all, fuck trying not to burden everyone and let yourself breathe. You got this
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