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I'm confused, I don't know, but I sent him this message on Instagram today:
You know I was dreaming about living in a hotel with my dad last night. We were on the top floor. He allowed me to go down to the parking lot at night, and I was texting you, and you said show me the address so that you come and meet me, so I went down the the parking lot to call you and show you my address, I was so excited.... but then I realized I didn't have any data left. I was so angry with myself. I started crying. And when I went up to our hotel room, I went to the bathroom and started crying....then my dad came to the bathroom and was knocking on the door and he was angry and said we are gonna have guests soon...I said ok, so then soon I came out, and I saw a woman with her kids in our room, and I greeted her, and she was smiling at me and she said that she likes my voice...I said thank you, but I was still angry with myself ...anyways, I was gone to the kitchen to make things for her, and her kids came and they had stolen all my chocolates....and then I started crying even more. Then my alarm woke me up at the perfect time and I was so relieved that it was just a dream. You know I think I dreamt about this night because I was crying before I went to sleep, because I didn't want you to leave me , I was thinking about how we can't be friends forever, like when we are 80 years old we can't keep texting eachother and some day, something will happen to separate us....and I wished i knew you in real life, I was crying a lot before i went to sleep, so.i think that's why I also cried in my dream..I think you were right, maybe I like you but I don't wanna admit it because I know I can't have you, how did you know this before I even realized it????? You actually do know me before I even know myself ....tell me more things which you know about me that I don't know about myself please , it might bring more clarity in my life. Please never leave me, I also won't leave you again π₯Ίπ₯Ίπ₯Ίπ₯Ίππ I'm sorry for leaving you. Some day if you ever get bored of me or if you hate me, then don't ignore me, we can be master slaves again and I am ready to send nudes as well, but don't leave me, I wanna be in contact with you πππππ I don't want to be the old me again before I met you, I don't wanna get sucked into that depressing life again, ππππππ I'm not emotionally independent yet, I need you πππππππ I know I sound so crazy and silly right now but I'm not strong enough to get through this without your company πππ Oh my God I'm crying again πππππππππ Just don't leave me , not YET, if you wanna leave me, you can but not yet, I'm not ready in this state, do everything later ,ππππππ I know you said that you are different with me, but still I just felt like saying this to you I feel so upset for not knowing you in real life, at least that way there could have been a higher guarantee of not losing each other. You're not a loser π₯Ί I don't even know what I'm feeling right now, every time I post a status on insta, and I look at who viewed it, all the people whom I know in real life, like my coworkers, classmates, and cousins, I don't feel anything when I see their profile in the list, but I feel so many memories and depth with you when I look at your profile on my status view count π₯Ίπ₯Ίπ₯Ίπ₯Ί but I know then my old habit will kick in and I will leave you again, and hate you and be angry again, but I will try to change this habit, if I do that, don't give up on me , I need you ππππππππ₯Ίπ₯Ίπ₯Ίπ₯Ίπ₯Ίπ₯Ίπ₯Ίπ₯Ίπ₯Ίπ₯Ίπ₯Ίπ₯Ίπ₯Ί come back just for me, but I won't let it happen I won't leave you i will try my best π₯Ίπ₯Ίπ₯Ίπ₯Ίπ₯Ίπ₯Ίπ₯Ίπ₯Ί.
Do you think I did right???
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