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2 weeks ago · · Suicide,
This is for my sister Samira. I’ve been thinking about her a lot lately and I’ve decided to stop keeping everything inside of me. I am posting this for awareness; to help people try to understand that not everyone is always as happy as they seem.
My sister committed suicide on March 2nd, 2017. She was 26 years old. Five days later I was the one to write my sister’s obituary at the age of 22. She was sad and no one knew it; not even our own family. One night I was on Facebook and Samira messaged me, because she was too scared to tell our parents, telling me that she was going to see a therapist because of her recent break up with her (first long-term) boyfriend. I blew it off, told her that she needed to try and see if she could handle it on her own, and if after a few weeks still needed to see someone to tell me. She understood and thanked me.
One night, I decided to surprise everyone and visit home. When I arrived, my parents greeted me with a look of concern in their eyes. They got around to telling me that we needed to have a “family meeting.” Samira was still having trouble coping and started to blame us all for trying to help. Long story short, and little did I know, the last words I would ever hear her say to me were “Because I’m mad at you.” At the time, I really know she didn’t mean it. At the time, I know that she was just upset and emotional about losing everything she was working on, and for, over the past two and a half years.
I was in my dorm studying for my last exam of Spring semester when my aunt called me frantically telling me not to drive. Those were the only words she said. I then followed up with calls to my mother, father, house phone, and two other relatives before getting ahold of my grandmother. Forty minutes later, in a McDonalds drive-thru, I received a phone call from my aunt telling me that Samira was pronounced dead at the hospital… I honestly cannot even begin to describe to you the emotional outpouring of grief I’ve felt at the time.
In so many words I’m trying to tell those out there who have gone through a suicide, or even a death of a loved one, that I know how you feel.
A brother should not have to write his sister’s obituary. I’m 27 now, a year older than my older sister.
Just a few months ago, I was packing up some of my belongings as I had to move out of my childhood home, I found a letter that I was told Samira had actually planned on giving me. It read “it’s the place where even after death, a part of me will forever be a part of you”.. I love you Samira, even after death<333 I miss you more and more every day that passes and it kills me to know that all I have of you are now memories.