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We can call him Eli. The first time we met, it wasn’t that great. We connected since both our families were toxic, we both loved anime, we both loved music, we both loved playing with each other. I then fell in love with Eli a year ago, a few days before this date. 19th November I officially declared I fell in love with you but we were still young. A 13 year old falling in love. It wasn’t a typical or stereotypical situation. To this day I haven’t confessed because my love for him is now dead. Every single god damn time. He somehow bullies me unknowingly, except he does it too far. He joked about my depression. My looks but he’s never seen me irl. My gaming skills. Including my family. He then did it infront of my friends. Both of our families are bad. His parents are divorced, he’s the elderly while mine is the opposite. My parents constantly fight still being married. My brother (Vin) ran away with his girlfriend. My elder sister (the oldest of us 3) always tried to the be the peacekeeper. I ended up forgetting more than 15 of my friends. We haven’t talked for a year, some of them found new friends, some of them didn’t reply to my texts. Some of them is no longer online. I had to give up on messaging them, if they can’t give at least 2 minutes of their time I shouldn’t have wasted 10 minutes for them to reply. Eli and I haven’t talked for 4 months. I don’t know anything anymore my brain is now just there. I can’t think properly. I should’ve just gave up on him ages ago. Eli also uses this website so if he ends up reading this. Or basically anyone can know this. He made me the broken person I am today. A person that failed suicide twice
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You are too young and inexperienced to have been in a situation like that. Wait a few more years until you get involved with any boy. Because you have tried twice to kill yourself you should go to a doctor for help. Tell the doctor all of this.
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