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1 week ago · Thoughts, · Explicit
I think I've had an hour of sleep. Dad gets up at 4 am 2nd day in a row coughing up a lung loud with his smoker cough. And ting ting ting ting stirring his coffee in a cup. Normally he isn't that loud. No he can't help coughing but he could be less loud. I was quiet when he was asleep last night. Idk if he was being loud on purpose because he's pissed and resentful I told him off Monday for screwing me over or what. Well rights right and wrongs wrong be wouldn't enjoy being treated or done that way.
Ok the Bible says don't let the sun go down on your wrath. Meaning if you have issues deal with them before the day's end basically.
Problem is I told him the truth how I felt "if you're not gonna do something then don't say it" after he made a promise everyday for like 6 days then acted like it never happened when he was supposed to do it then got defensive. Well I tried ok.
I tried talking about it he got really aggressive telling me to shut up threatening me making me so mad I slammed the refrigerator , my door , and and dropped something loud all because he was being an ass. He wouldn't hear me out nor mom. So how do you deal and forgive stuff like that also them acting like I'm in the wrong for getting mad? Really? Oh come on seriously? It's not right at all. I feel like there's avger and bitterness in the house. How can they justify treating me that way. ? I try to be a good person and this what I get for it. Dad used me to get what he wanted being out of drugs. And then threatens me in a horrible tone. He brought all this on himself for his 2 week drug binge not my fault he ate them all. Idk if he ourpoy woke me up being resentful or not mom was still crappy to me yesterday about it all. She had to give dad her prescription because of his binge. Problem is he was near gonna run me out before that so he promised paying me back out of hers but that was a total lie. Never trust a drug addict. I don't abuse mine unlike him I have legit issues and I'm smart enough not to run out unlike him.
It's Thanksgiving. Mom's not gonna cook yet my aunt still has to forcefully come over today. Mom's like "I'm not cooking for her" I'll wait til she leaves. She was only gonna fix chicken.
Ok another thing my aunt is being a witch to me. B day and father's day she got my dad a card and a gift bag. Today she was gonna give my mom a TV and a stool. Why does she keep leaving me out 😠 I never did nothing to this Jezebel other than tell about my abuse and stand up for myself when she forced her way in here when I would not answer the door with mom n dad gone one day. All cuz she was super desperate to get her money back she came in yelling my name then denied forcing her way in saying "well give me my money"which mom n dad kept n took some of . No surprise there. Yet I'm the bad guy to her? Wtf??????? I just wanna leave here n not come back. How come she never gets me anything? I'm not chopped liver. I pray I have a good day today
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