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I just really crave someone's love right now. I really need that. I need the attention and support and the comfort from another person. I need stability and support. I don't know where to get that becaaue I have literally no one in my life. I actually have no one. Like at all. I have no friends. I don't have a boyfriend. I don't have anyone. I am so exhausted by everything. I am so tired. I just want love. I want people that care about me. Living alone like this is agony. It's all I ask for and I still can't have it. I won't ever have. It's just not possible for me. All I want is someone to hold me and say that it's going to be okay. I want someone that will comfort me and encourage me and not drag me down even further. I want someone that actually really cares about me and my feelings because I've never had that and it's all I've ever wanted. That's really it. There's nothing much more to say. I want to be able to go places like concerts and parties and restaurants and have people to go with and have fun with. Instead I just see everyone else doing that without me. I look at Instagram posts with people I don't even know and I envy them so much. I want to have real fun like that. I want to have real connections with people and not just be someone they go to when they're bored or have no one else available. I don't want to be disposable or replaceable. A few days ago I spent like 5 hours daydreaming and watching edits on Instagram. I was imagining that I was at the same places the edits took place in. I was actually having fun by doing that which is so sad. Now I'm just depressed about it becasue it's all in my head. Everything is all in my head and nothing is really happening for me. It's all just fake and a temporary coping mechanism. I feel better in the moment but then after it leaves me feeling worse than before because none of it is real. I just want someone to hold me. I just want someone to love me and appreciate me and vice versa. I don't know how long I can stand to be alone because this is really torture. I can't take this anymore. All I want is love. I crave all of this SO much I can't begin to put it into words. It hurts
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It sounds really hurtful, I only have my mom, my brother and my dog. But those feelings aren't fake, they are still feelings. If you find any pleasure out of watching a screen it could not be otherwise. I hope you find your place, or meet new people. I read everything if that's of any comfort to you.
ReplyYou know... I relate to this so much. And I really feel for you when you say that you feel jealous when watching other people have fun and are surrounded by friends while you are just alone. Anyway, I hope for both of us that we will somehow feel loved and have many people around us in the future one day.
ReplyHey girl,
I don't know how to put this. But, I am going through all of these myself. About craving for love, attention, and many more. I am a girl myself, so, I totally understand and empathize what you're going through. Trust me, about the daydreaming part..I do that too. I wish I could have helped you in anyway but the thing is I am also sailing on the same boat and commenting to just let you know that there is also a girl, on the other side of the world, who is just like you. Not you, but very much like you.
ReplyI had a comment about how I feel the same way, but I refresh the page. Anyways, while I'm reading this am having a mental breakdown, I never see myself like this before, I was horrified, I thought I'm really giving up so I decided to chat my friend for comfort, but my sister walk in me crying, and I couldn't help but to burst, I was having a panic attack. Anyway, we got to talk, she was shocked, she thought I was okay but really didn't. She told me that I could talk to her and she could help me tell my parents about it. All this time I thought I was alone and no one could understand me, but in reality I was just shutting them down, I never really let them understand me. Now I'm confuse.
ReplyHi. You are not alone here. I am over 60 yrs of age and I have one male that I consider a friend, and one female that I consider a close friend. Lonely isnt the word I would use, for myself I use the word "forgotten". Yes, forgotten, because I fell everyone left me behind years ago. I read books to feel like I am involved outside of my home. I have a wife, kids, and grandkids, but I still feel "forgotten". I have no explanation for it. What is really strange is the people who actually consider me around are young people. I can hold a great conversation with the 20 somethings more than I can with my own age group. Have you tried interacting with older folks? If not, try that out and I think you will find another world exists out there for you.
I to, watch TIKTOK, and at times view instagram. For some weird reason it sorta keeps me current. Make sense? Prob not...LOL.
At other times I jump in my car, or when I had one, I jumped on my Harley, and took a nice winding country road drive for hours at a time just to relax and tell myself that I am relevant. Try it, because YOU are Relevant!
My Two Cents
Me
Replygood morning. i read your writing. may i ask, where are you looking for love? that may be a possible issue. but on the other hand, love can be found in the weirdest places. keep looking, its there.
on another note - you and i are alike, though i have one male friend, and one female friend, and they are married to each other. i have a reason for my lack of friends - i just dont trust anyone to be around me, other than my wife, but thats not enough either. i have been a loner all my life. i am more comfortable with just “me” than having friends around all the time. i daydream as well, but i do it while driving my car around, which isnt smart either, but i do it to keep sane. i to, watch stuff and put myself there or daydream and put myself in that fantasy. its almost real like to do that.
you arent alone. i am there with you. there are others like you, looking for love and companionship.
if i may, i will be that someone you want
to be around, though from a distance, since it prob would t be smart to hangout together LOL. you are smart, amazing, kind, and gentle, as well as a beautiful young lady. smile, laugh often, and that “love” will come calling.
respond if you like.
Me
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