What are you looking for?
Theres something missing (please read this)
8 months ago · · depressed,
I just really crave someone's love right now. I really need that. I need the attention and support and the comfort from another person. I need stability and support. I don't know where to get that becaaue I have literally no one in my life. I actually have no one. Like at all. I have no friends. I don't have a boyfriend. I don't have anyone. I am so exhausted by everything. I am so tired. I just want love. I want people that care about me. Living alone like this is agony. It's all I ask for and I still can't have it. I won't ever have. It's just not possible for me. All I want is someone to hold me and say that it's going to be okay. I want someone that will comfort me and encourage me and not drag me down even further. I want someone that actually really cares about me and my feelings because I've never had that and it's all I've ever wanted. That's really it. There's nothing much more to say. I want to be able to go places like concerts and parties and restaurants and have people to go with and have fun with. Instead I just see everyone else doing that without me. I look at Instagram posts with people I don't even know and I envy them so much. I want to have real fun like that. I want to have real connections with people and not just be someone they go to when they're bored or have no one else available. I don't want to be disposable or replaceable. A few days ago I spent like 5 hours daydreaming and watching edits on Instagram. I was imagining that I was at the same places the edits took place in. I was actually having fun by doing that which is so sad. Now I'm just depressed about it becasue it's all in my head. Everything is all in my head and nothing is really happening for me. It's all just fake and a temporary coping mechanism. I feel better in the moment but then after it leaves me feeling worse than before because none of it is real. I just want someone to hold me. I just want someone to love me and appreciate me and vice versa. I don't know how long I can stand to be alone because this is really torture. I can't take this anymore. All I want is love. I crave all of this SO much I can't begin to put it into words. It hurts