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If you’re self-aware you are capable of doing the right things and less of doing bad. I am completely aware that I am not being productive in a way that it is destroying me mentally. I talk less of my problems and listen to others more. Knowing what they like, hate, what food or places they want to eat, knowing what type of genre they like to watch when they’re down and when they are joyful. Knowing all these things, observing what they want making me so exhausted. It’s tiring knowing which size fits them not mine. I talk less of my problems because I’m still a child that my problems are not as big as theirs. Knowing that at this moment that it’s pointless to tell what happened to my day because their back have a lot of burden than mine. Maybe I am not that self-aware because I made a lot of wrong decisions in such a young age. I never exceled in any subject; I never know what to do. I envy people who has a good relationship with their parents, having good grades and having things they want and need. I am always stuck in my head filled with this imaginations and thoughts. Inside those wishing that I have if I made things like this, and that, I would be in a greater position than myself today, but still. There are a lot of people telling me “try motivating yourself maybe you’ll be back on track” “ You just need proper sleep” “ You’re just being dramatic”, Well honestly I tried my best and did the best I could, it’s just that my best was not as good as everyone’s. Their expectations get higher and higher day by day. I totally envy my sisters, them having high grades without being tired and still not satisfied about it. All of them having a well-off mark makes me out of place. Them giving me a reward for doing nothing just out of pity makes me sick. I never liked people who being kind towards me just because they pity me.
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Wow! I felt this x
ReplyI love how considerate, and mindful you are towards others. It's not an easy job, an with some people they .. don't even make it a job tbh. But you sound like a great person! Definitely someone I can relate too, I hope you can find your self-worth and know that.. you are important!! The time that you spend to invest in yourself will be great!! People who know this, will be your people, and I hope you find them x
Replyand how do you determine their kindness is out of pity?
Reply