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1 month ago · · Stressed out · Explicit
I'm 19, my parents are forcing me to marry my cousin at the end of this December. He recorded my porn when his brother would molest me ages 8-14. I am asexual. I don't want him to consummate the marriage with me. I didn't tell my parents because they think that I'm 19 and too old, I should have been married by the ages 15-17 (In my culture, girls marry earlier and cousin marriage is common). That cousin is an aeronautical engineer in England so they think he will make me happy. I feel anxiety my chest hurts I always get panic attacks. I cant run away because in our culture there is a word for run away girls called "Matiza" and it's very shameful and a bad word. I don't want my dad to get that label on me. He already went through so much, he and my mom fights every day so he is always stressed because of my mom. I don't know what to do. Is 19 a good time for marriage in your country? At what age do you people marry? I still am asexual and feel like throwing up even when I think about kissing.