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1 month ago · · Anxiety
I'm really stressed about this. But I never told this to anyone because I don't have the courage or confidence to talk about it. I feel weird. Embarrassed. I dont think I'm ready to talk about it. Nevermind. I can't do anything
I just need an advice.
I dont want to talk about the whole situation because it started from childhood till now
I don't know. I hate him.
I dont wanna tell you everything.
But I just need a solution. I wanna die. Idk.
I was little, my uncle was not nice with me. Now I'm older.
A few weeks ago when we went to their home, he gave my whole family menche in a tray...idk menche is like sweet noodles in hot milk.
I dont know, but I feel like maybe there was something in my bowel, maybe not, but idk, im not sure
because then I fainted and he took me to the same clinic he took me when I was little. For my treatment.
I woke up but was too weak. I wasn't fully conscious yet. It was like what happened before. The feelings. This all happened a few weeks ago. I started seeing nightmares again. I didn't know
Then yesterday he made me watch the videos he recorded of me and idk I was cryingt. And said he can share it with other people. With his friends. And that if I dont want it to happen then I I have to be ready for him without the need of any drugs and I have to be active in it as well.
And idk. I cant even get his phone or else I would have broken it. But it's always locked so far away
I didnt expect him to be this disgusting.
And I didnt know I'm this stupid. I'm really stupid.
And it's not just him. When I was little, it was others too.
I hate my relatives. Why am I so stupid. Other girls are smarter. It's always just me.
Always me. I'm so stupid. Why am I so stupid. Why am I such a slut.
I hate myself. I don't know what to do. I should have not fainted. Or just know everything. But I didnt know.
I'm so useless.
I'm so stupid.
Why am I even alive. I should be dead.
I'm so stupid.
Idk what to do now.
I feel like crying. Dying. I wanna die I feel suicidal.
I can't deal with this anymore.
I really dont wanna deal with this anymore