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This is is a poem about losing a pregnancy that was the result of rape
The loss of the child I didn’t ask for
I sometimes wonder what you would have been like
Would you have had my hair
My eyes
My sense of humor
Your own style
Stop
It isn’t good to dwell on the past
But then again
Oh, how you would have turned my world upside down in every way possible
A child born to a child
A child created not out of love but out of pain
A child that would have come into a world that wasn’t ready for it yet
To parents that weren’t ready yet
Stop
Everything happens for a reason
But then again
I would have raised you not to be like your father, but like your aunt
Bringing light to everyone you met
Not like your grandmother, but like your cousin
Showing everyone kindness even if they didn’t deserve it
Not like me. I would have raised you to be better than me
Stop
There’s nothing I can do about it now
But then again
Maybe it’s better this way
I couldn’t have given you the life you deserved
Not at only 16 years old
But I would have been too selfish to give you up
Our lives would have been hard, harder than you deserved because this wasn’t your fault or mine
Stop
You’re in a better place now
But then again
Maybe it’s not better this way
Because even though I hate your father
Oh, how I would have loved you
The child I never asked for
My child
Every hair on your head
Every little finger
Every little toe
Every little laugh would have made it all worth it
My child
Stop
It wasn’t meant to be
But then again...
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