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coming to a very frustrating conclusion that orgasming or even just enjoying self pleasure is incredibly hard for me . i am at war with my body and i know this sounds kind of silly/stupid but it’s been on my mind for such a long time now and it’s upsetting. i want to pleasure myself. i want to be assured that when the time comes, i’ll be able to finish for my partner.
fucking hate my tiny, hooded clit
and my brain that doesn’t shut up
i cant even try to do it without asking myself what i’m doing wrong right in the middle of it. i’m seriously at my wit’s end, i feel like i’ve tried everything
i might go cry about it actually
i just want to feel like i know my body and what it needs .
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Get a vibrator.
Replyi have one. it has not helped.
Reply‘Coming to a very frustrating conclusion…’ I’m enjoying the (probably accidental) pun.
ReplyI'm a bit older and my wife and I are swingers. That said, I've had a lot of experience with many women. One thing I've learned over the years is that everyone likes different "stuff" and everyone gets off in different ways.
One girl I was with, for example, could only orgasm if her legs are together. I know some that only finish if they are stimulated on the exterior (the clit), some only finish if they are stimulated on the inside (the g-spot), and others only get off when stimulated in both areas at the same time! Some finish quite easily and others require a lot of attention for a long time (20 to 30 min!).
It's my best guess that you've just not yet found "your thing" and that's ok. What makes this worse is that you're now building up a mental block to the activity which is making it harder for you as you quickly and easily become frustrated by it all.
My advice...
Keep practicing. If what you're doing feels good, there's no reason to get frustrated and stop. If it feels good, why stop? If it feels good, you may be well on your way to orgasm. If what you're doing doesn't feel good, try something else - different pressure (harder or softer), different speed (faster or slower), different object (hand or various toy), etc. In time, I'm sure you'll have the release you need and, with that, will be the lifting of the mental block. After that, it'll be much easier for you finish in the future.
Earlier, I said keep practicing; I should have said, "Keep experimenting." That's the best description for this. You're experimenting with your own body, in your own time, when you feel comfortable, to find what feels good and what doesn't. Don't be afraid to try new things. If you like them, you can do them again on another day. If you don't like them, you can remove those from your list of things to do to make you finish.
Good Luck!
ReplyLady here. I can only orgasm externally with a vibrator (on my clit). Sex feels great but it will never get me there by itself. When I know it's going to be a sexy night, I carry a little lipstick-sized travel vibrator in my purse (guys think this is SO kinky, like "Here is this sweet and innocent woman CARRYING AROUND A VIBRATOR, ALL READY TO THROW DOWN, YES!" so it always excites and intrigues them--everybody wins). My "routine" is that they get me off first (they almost always prefer this). Even though I need a vibrator to have an orgasm, I always include my partner by having him finger me while I use the toy on my clit. After I orgasm, they're usually ready to roll immediately and everybody has a great time thereafter. So that's how I've learned to deal with what I need to get there. Music is also a HUGE help, especially EDM. EDM is a very powerful and diverse genre and people can really get into the sounds. Try putting some headphones on at night, light some candles, turn off the lights, and just listen to the beat while you experiment. You'll figure it out. And kudos to the swinger guy up above. He's right!
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