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I'm not sure how else to put it. Maybe it's our complexity that hinders my ability to label us any better. Why do we love so hard? Why do we feel compelled to be loved by others? Why do the things that hurt us so much in the past become things we laugh at in the present? Our pure existence confuses me so much. I know it's not an original thought, but I wish we had answers. Answers that didn't bring more questions.
Our physical appearance is also weird. Why do our limbs suddenly feel so heavy after becoming aware of them? Why do our eyes so easily catch the eyes of another person without the intention of doing so beforehand? Why do some people look like the embodiment of grief, and others the embodiment of childlike joy? Why do we automatically label the appearance of others as pretty, ugly, or average when we ourselves are built in such inscrutable ways?
I know that maybe some branch of science can answer my questions, but I fear that it may not be enough. I'm strange, but sometimes I don't feel human. What does that even mean, to be human? Does strangeness equal humanity? Is the true answer no answer at all? Sometimes I look into the eyes of my reflection in the mirror, and it feels like I'm looking at someone else. Maybe that can be an answer. Maybe we're all the same person, but different reflections. Does that even make any sense?
Perhaps I'm losing my mind.
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You may not want actual answers, but a lot of it is down to our evolution as social animals!
We survived as a species because we looked after each other. There are fossil records of early humans with disabilities, who couldn’t have looked after themselves but still lived to adulthood. Our strength lies in our social bonds and our ability to adapt. As social animals, We seek reassurance from each other, and use body language (often subconsciously) to communicate and show our emotional state.
Appearance related stuff is just societal conditioning mostly.
Also, you may want to look up ‘dissociation’
ReplyThank you so much for your response, I appreciate it and you reading my thoughts.
Biology and evolution was never something I thought I'd find interest in, but recently, like what you mentioned, I noticed it does logically explain a lot of the reasons behind the behaviors I mentioned. Maybe I should take a deeper dive into our ancestral past and how we evolved into the creatures we are today.
And thank you for bringing up dissociation. I had thought that maybe what I had written was more of the result of teenage angst, but dissociation is definitely an interesting topic.
:)
ReplyThank you so much for your response, I appreciate it and you reading my thoughts.
Biology and evolution was never something I thought I'd find interest in, but recently, like what you mentioned, I noticed it does logically explain a lot of the reasons behind the behaviors I mentioned. Maybe I should take a deeper dive into our ancestral past and how we evolved into the creatures we are today.
And thank you for bringing up dissociation. I had thought that maybe what I had written was more of the result of teenage angst, but dissociation is definitely an interesting topic.
:)
Reply