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I'm tired of myself . The more I try to fit in the more I lose myself . I think I'm the great example of failure . I'm almost 30years now. I have been fighting with myself with my mental health. Im jobless because my boss fired me . I have done multiple jobs I can't even count. I feel loser inside . I feel ashamed of myself. Where my friends are graduated from university . Some are married had kids ,abroad. I'm the same person they knew and till now I'm the same one. It's just not about job work family friends. It's about me myself. I am struggling with myself. I don't want to live anymore . I just want to end myself and be free from this world . I know there is more to come in life. But I'm tired exhausted with everything I faced . I do have a boyfriend we have been together for 3 years. He loves me and wants to marry me soon. But I feel like I can't be happy with anything. I feel glad I found him. Im battling with myself I can't do this shit anymore. I want him to leave me move on with his life but he just can't get over me. I'm tired of life ..god help me. I have gain weight I feel ugly . I feel pressure trapped .have been counting next year will be nice good with me but again the same bullshit things . I wish god can see my tears my pain. I want to live life don't want to survive anymore.
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