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dear dad

5 months ago · 2 · Grief, +3


590

i miss you dad, it's been 11 months since i lost you and it still feels like yesterday, the pain, the grief, it all still hurts. i don't know how I've survived this much without you. i hope you were here with me because i really need you and can't imagine having to live the rest of my life without you. you were always there for me, supporting me, taking care of me and you were the only person that cared about me. no one and nothing can ever make me forget about this pain or make it go away. people told me that i would get used to not having you around but time has only made this worse. i hope wherever you are you are proud of me. i love you.

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  • Novni Guest · 5 months ago

    I miss terribly too -my dad 😪

    Reply
  • joey41 · 5 months ago

    I am so sorry for your loss. I believe that your father would be very proud of you.

    I lost my 4 day old son in 2018, held him as he turned blue and passed away, I have PTSD from that moment. While it’s beautiful and I’m grateful I saw him and my wife and I got to hold him, the beauty of that moment also contains a heartbreaking and harrowing experience. I turned to drugs, I turned to more porn, I lost the best job of my life, constantly saying the same thing you just said. Nobody knows what this feels like. They’re all full of shit, time heals nothing. Nobody and nothing will ever help me or understand what I feel about this.

    And that’s probably true. But you know, mourning and grieving my son and cursing god and hating life and all that shit, like how would my son have felt about all of that? Or nevermind that, what about how my wife feels about it? Shouldn’t I be a good dad to my daughter? And of course I should. If I’m not just going to off myself, I better start just trying to figure out how to cope with that soul crushing, massively heavy burden of pain and anger and sorrow related to my sons death. And believe me, the weight of that pain and sadness in your chest, creeping up to the back of your throat, I know what that feels like. It’s horrible. It aches. You wa t to scream and cry.

    So do that. Give yourself permission here and there to scream into your pillow, break some shit, in the safest way possible. But give yourself permission to get that shit out. And then do some deep breathing and remember that for whatever reason your fathers time had come, and you still have something here on earth your meant to accomplish or experience yet to come.

    I feel your pain. I am sorry. Find authentic people to talk about your feelings about all of this as much as possible.

    Reply

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