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Dear ex,
I'm writing this to you after I've cried for 2 hours. I was thinking abt all the beautiful memories we shared. I'd be lying if I Said I didn't enjoy them. But ig its easier to accept the end of things which were not so good rather than accepting something magical coming to an end. I crave for your touch. I'm a fool to keep hoping for something to happen again though I know how wrong you are for Me. Along with the good memories, I can't help but think of the bitter ones. The cruel words uve said to me haunt me still. I remember the exact words. I hate that i never was and never will be good enough for you. But somewhere deep down I knew I would never be. Somewhere deep down I knew it would hurt this much when it ended. But I ignored that and imagined our future together. Us getting married and what not and now I'm left here all alone. I have to start from scratch, spin a new story, without you this time. It's going to be hard because your name is all I can think of. But somehow I'll do it. The past few months have been hell and I don't know when the pain will stop. I still think of you everyday and say to myself this was not how it was supposed to end. I know I've made mistakes, but we both know that I didn't deserve what u did to me. I was willing to stay. Stay through it all. Gave you infinite chances just because I was so in love with you. It's crazy. Now I look back and laugh to myself and wonder what for did I do all that. I remember crying and begging to God to help me. And maybe this is the help. Maybe I'm too blind to see it now. I was so sure about you but u kept going back n forth, breaks breakups what not. Felt like a Rollercoaster. Your "jokes" never made Me laugh and to this day I think about how you called me fat before putting anything into my mouth. So to say you didn't influence me would be a great lie. You have changed me. I don't recognize the girl I've become, nor does anyone else. I lost you, but lost myself too and I don't know which is worse. I loved you and you loved yourself and all I ever wanted was a little love, a little kindness but all I got was yelling and bad words. They say "it'll make you stronger!". But fuck that. I don't want to be stronger. But if u call being numb and not feeling anything stronger , than I definitely am "stronger". I do have to thank you though, for letting Me go. Because u didn't deserve me and I didn't deserve to be treated the way you treated me. Love shouldn't be so hard and I cried way too much for you. But thank you for letting me go because I wouldn't have walked away. No matter how bad it got, I would have stayed with you, with us. Maybe that's my biggest crime. You on the other hand, found another girl and filled your void . It was the hardest thing I had to deal with. But to each their own I guess?! I do hate you for breaking up with me, for giving up on me , on us when we could have been so much more. I don't want to say goodbye, I don't wanna let go, but I can't force you to stay and see what u can't see. I've lost myself enough. It's so hard to let you go, to let my fantasy of us go, but you left me no choice. I can't fight anymore. I'm tired and I give up. So I guess this is goodbye...
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