tired of begging to love yourself

i did. i prayed for your suffering. i'm sorry. i never imagined i was doing it in vain. you see, suffering is the way to happiness, to be saved, we need to be it. i did it because i loved you. who wouldn't want their loved one to suffer, thinking it would all be okay because you were right here to catch and love them through it. i never imagined you'd want to stay that way or do it without me there. i am so tired of begging for you to see in yourself what i see. i know you can do so much, and doing it without me is just as well, if that's what you need, as long as you do it love.