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Nobody understands why I’m hurting so bad. You work 12 hours. I wish I could sit at home all day. Why are you tired what have you done today? Oh... today I stopped myself from spiraling out of control. Today I stopped myself from overdosing thoughts. Today I didn’t drink myself to death. But that doesn’t count right? She probably can’t keep a job. If you get this job you have to go to work. This I know. I’m just tired. Tired of waking up with a heart full of ice cold glass. It shatters over and over until I have to buy another piece to replace the One that was broken. And in order to replace that it came with a price. Another reason to be tired. My mental state is failing me. My mentality is failing Me. My mind is telling me no one cares bc they can’t hear me screaming. When all I do is scream. Why are you so mean. Why did you say that. Why are you so cold hearted. Bc I’m hurting and I don’t know how to make it go away. Instead I cry and cry and cry and cry and cry and cry all by myself. So when you come around I look okay. I can’t cry In front if you. But I’ll weep to myself. I’ll never find a solution I just let it out. What do I do? Tell me so I can be better for you. If I let this go on I don’t know what will happen to me. I’m here bc of your feelings. Your heart. Your mind. I can’t go bc I don’t want to see you go through what I am right now. No one will read this bc who cares. Who’s smart enough to see this. Who’s smart enough to see my pain that’s deeply hidden. Where would you look? Do you know where to look? Do you know what to say other than it’s all gonna be okay. It’ll pass. We got this stay strong. Do you know what to do besides hug me. Hold me. Kiss me. Send me away. None of the above will keep me out of this dire misery I consistently experience. I’m such a worthless person. All this way I’ve built for everyone and when I can’t build anymore it’s disloyalty. It’s disrespectful. I’m a burden. I’m hurting.
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