A ramble

Is that how life goes Christmas becomes more joyless each year as an adult? I'll be honest the holidays havent been very joyful. But I got to count my blessings I guess. I see people send "merry Christmas" to my mom on messenger people that know me but don't say a dang thing to me. I didn't do a fkn thing to those people. Maybe I should delete social media entirely I'm tired of never being good enough for anybody seemingly on there.

Then there's my former co worker. Once we stopped working together he stopped speaking to me despite my attempts to message and text him. Sure I made a mistake one day and yelled at him but apologized for it because I was under an extreme amount of stress that day by a bully co-worker and people who were and are supposed to help me DID NOT yet they always expected you to help them. This person also knew about what this bully the harassment he put me through so I thought he was understanding until he bailed on me. All I could do was say I was sorry I told him the literal truth of the situation. Him and his wife are also church members but completely ignore me. I swept my side if the street off by apologizing if he don't want me as a friend whatever. I get annoyed his wife posts "I feel so loved our church came to Carol for us" posts pics of it. Yeah? What about the people that aren't receiving love how do you think that makes them feel snob? That's why I hate social media I'm not good enough for them or my own family even they gotta ignore me too. How would they feel having no friends people snobbing them off then post that crap? I've never had real friends here. It sucks. Whatever there is a silver lining somewhere. I don't need people who don't need me or value me as a part of their life.

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