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I’m thinking of giving up..
I’m not sure how I’ve lasted thing long
I’ve tired to recover multiple time but honestly it’s never last
Still feel so empty
I’ve achieved almost every said I would.
I went to university and graduated even though my mum just died then shortly after my grandma
I’ve travelled to Japan I even lived there for year
I taught in korea for 2yrs
I lost weight a lot (50kg++) I went from being a “pretty face” to pretty and beautiful. And people literally tell me they wanted to my friend because I was beautiful.
( this honestly all I ever wanted as a little girl to be pretty and thin) p.s I’m still not thin
I’ve did all things I wanted in past
Yet I feel … like there’s no point to anything anymore..
I wanted to go back to Korea
I wanted to do masters in fashion
I wanted to move back to London start my career in fashion
But now..
I don’t care or I’m tired..
I don’t have the will to drag myself threw life anymore
I Guess it pretty obvious I’m in serve depression.. I’ve struggled with mental illnesses * for over decade
I’ve even attempted end my own life of multiple occasions.
I’ve self harmed since I was about 9
I struggle with various EDs and still do
I even used to be morbidly obese
I’ve tired to recover from it all but right now I’m so tired so so tired feel like life isn’t worth it like I’ve did things I wanted yet still… I’m empty and lonely
I thought if I made myself prettier I’d feel better and guess in some ways I do but I’m still struggling with the same things as all ways..
Im still here existing and dragging myself threw life…
I really really want to give up but..
Don’t know why I can’t commit
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