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i can’t bring myself to call my friends anymore, i feel so guilty because i know that they want to talk but i just can’t call them. am i a bad friend? what should i do?
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I always felt that if they really wanted to talk to you they would call you. I always found that they never did really want to talk to me. So, I found better friends. You can’t always be the only person putting in effort. One sided friendships never work out.
ReplyOkay, So theres few scenarios this could be (To me theres no situation where youre the bad friend though)
1. Your friends and you are all good, and its just you putting in effort. Then honestly theres no reason to feel guilty. But its time you try to slowly space them out. One sided friendships apart from never working are honestly just draining and will ruin your mental health so not worth it.
2. You are having trouble with your mental health and dont have the energy to talk to anyone, which i understand but that doesnt make you a bad person either, there is no shame in prioritizing your mental health it is important, A good friend wouldnt mind giving you the time and space you need, but i would recommend you tell them that its what you need so that no misunderstandings arise. (I know its hard to talk about it most times, and you dont HAVE to explain yourself you can just tell them you need some time to deal with some things) (and if they dont understand that the problem lies with them)
3. Youre okay they arent, maybe thats why they arent calling but since you said you cant bring yourself to call them but they want to, they shouldve called aswell. So try to not feel guilty about it
But overall I just want to say, Since im someone with similar issues, DO NOT LET YOURSELF FEEL LIKE A BURDEN TO ANYONE be the reason you avoid calling someone. If someone makes you feel like that, leave them. NO ONE deserves to feel like that. You arent one so if you want to call someone to whine and complain, as long as theyre available and willing to listen, please please please please go ahead. (And do not assume they dont want to listen to you, let them basically tell you, our minds are weird and like to overthink and assume especially in these situations)
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