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Saying a crush makes me feel like a child but I don’t know what else to call it. One- sided I guess. Not realistic maybe. Actually it’s not realistic in the slightest and knowing this, in every aspect and knowing it back to front you would think would help me get over it. Knowing that he wouldn’t and doesn’t feel the same way YOU WOULD THINK that would completely squash any feelings but no. There they are. I thought I was over it but I am not. Someone please release me from this personal hell. It hurts. It sucks. I feel like a child. This is insanity and I want it to stop. The worst thing is it’s manageable!!! It’s just feelings and I should process it!!! BUT I CANT. I process and then!!! They are still there!!! It feels unfair at this point. This isn’t a new process for me. I get a crush, it’s one-sided, feelings still run wild, reality hits, heart hurts, I get over it. Same lessons over and over yet apparently I haven’t learned. Knowing me the process will start again soon
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