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the thought of coming back to school makes me feel sick. i have so much overdue work + the semester is coming to an end. i’m not sure how my grades are looking. i had 2 months to finish this assignment though i’m only truly starting it next week, which is also the week it’s due. i procrastinate horribly and i don’t know how to stop.
i’m going to a new class. i’m afraid that people will pick on me because i’m the new person. i also don’t want to go to some other classes, in fear of people picking on me, but this just adds another layer, especially when i’m going to be doing something that involves teamwork and competition. there is no one in the class i talk to as really a “friend.” i have no one.
can i make an excuse, maybe? the school doesn’t care about mental health on things like this. i don’t know what to do.
this feeling of anxiety has been lingering since break started, but it wasn’t severe because i thought, “well, when break is coming to a close, then i’ll worry about everything,” — and i do. now that it is time, i feel sick to my stomach. i pray that school closes for this week… or for the rest of the year… i just need to collect myself.
a feeling of dread is in my stomach. i feel like crying. i want to throw up. i don’t want to go back and face the consequences for my procrastination. i’m extremely scared of how my grades look. please… please… just close school tomorrow. i’d rather die than face everything.
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