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My Lesbian/Bisexual Bestie Confessed to Me
2 years ago · 4 · Sexuality Confessions, +5 · Explicit
286
I've been friends with Gabby for ten years. We were in the same 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 5th, 7th, 8th, 9th, and now 11th grade classes. We also lived in the same neighborhood and rode the bus together, so I never missed out anything with her. I've always just thought of her as my bestie, nothing more. We went to the movies, ate out, played outside, went to each other's houses, texted, did homework together, go to the mall together, had sleepovers, you name it.
But 2 days ago, we were over at my house, and I was talking about how I broke up with my ex-boyfriend a few months ago. I said, "Now that I'm all healed up inside, let's find a new crush!"
Gabby never had a boyfriend, so I was very intent on matchmaking her with someone. So I asked her who her crush was and she just laughed, saying there wasn't anyone. She always said that. In our ten years of friendship, she's never said a peep about her love life and crushes.
So I kept asking and asking, sounding like a broken record, and everytime she just kept on laughing and saying, "I told you, there's really no one!"
Then I just pouted and pretended to be all upset and crossed my arms. I said, "Geez, we've been friends for 10 years and you won't tell me who you like?"
Then she got quiet and then said, "I like you."
I laughed, because I thought she was joking, and I told her she was such a good liar, but she looked so serious and I laughed again. But she grabbed my hand said it again. She just looked into my eyes for a few seconds, and I realized she wasn't lying. Then I just said, "Oh... so you like girls?"
And then she just nodded and when she saw me still shocked and that I clearly wasn't in love with her, she started crying and I tried to comfort her, and she told me to go away. Her mom came up and started asking what was going on, but neither of us could tell her so I just went to my house.
I had no idea Gabby liked me. I had no idea she liked girls. I'm just so confused now. We haven't really talked and when we did, it was just "Hi".
I don't like girls. I'm heterosexual, so I can't reciprocate her feelings for me. What should I do? I'm so scared our long friendship will end if I reject her!
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Explain to her that you are heterosexual and would like to remain friends with her, and you can never be more than a friend. Tell her that you don't mind if she likes girls and that you like boys.
ReplySeeing that you've been friends for 10 years, it's possible she's been crushing on you for a long time. It can hurt to not have your feeling reciprocated. Give her time to recover, but talk to her if you can about it. You're straight, and although you don't share her feelings, you still greatly value the friendship and don't want to lose it. Don't push her, though. She might just need some space, and she'll come back when she feels alright again.
Whatever you do, don't date her just to keep her in your life. Don't lead her on, and don't put yourself in a situation like that. Even if she does end up wanting to end the friendship, it's not worth it. You'll need to let her go, as painful as it will be. I hope you and your friend will be alright, and you both figure this situation out.
ReplyThank you for this advice. I'm gonna try and give her some time before talking to her again.
ReplyOP here. So actually, I talked to Gabby about this yesterday. I talked to her privately at lunch, and I told her that I still want to be her friend even if she liked me or was a lesbian/bisexual. She said she knew I would say this and told me she just wanted to let it out, and she told me she wants to let go of her unrequited love and try pursuing someone else. I told her "Go girl!" and we hugged. She kept on apologizing about making me uncomfortable, but I think this huge rock in the road will prove us to have a bigger, stronger friendship. It's still weird, having to be reminded that the person I'm talking to likes me. But I think I'll just get used to it. Thank you all so much for your amazing device!!!
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