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So...
I recently got out of a relationship. Going in I knew I had my own baggage and I knew he had some too. I came in with abandonment issues (the relevant one for this) and so did he.
We ended on good terms, like there wasnt much left for anyone to hold onto and I KNOW the relationship is over, BUT
We ended things because one day he woke up and realised he didnt like or love me like that anymore. The funny thing is, I asked him 1-2 weeks before we ended it, rather he ended it, whether he liked me anymore, and i made sure he knew he could tell me honestly, but he confidently said he still did. (This was all after 2 months of me feeling like he didnt anymore)
I understand that maybe after i asked him it took him 2 weeks to come to terms with that he didnt? AND I KNOW that hes allowed to stop, i dont blame him for it either. Infact i appreciate that he told me honestly instead of dragging it out wasting our time.
But im struggling to work how im not supposed to carry this forward with me. Im someone who has struggled with feeling wanted and accepted. I think everyone is going to leave because many times people have.
I dont know how to believe it anymore when people say theyre going to stay. I dont know how im gonna put myself out there and believe people when they reassure me that things are alright. I dont know how to let my overthinking take over because to me it feels like ive been right everytime ive overthought things. How am I not supposed to let this become more bad baggage for me.
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People come and go in our lives. The staying occurs when the benefits for doing so are mutual. Everyone proceeds on this life journey in their particular direction and at their own pace. Its good to travel with others for a while. Its not good to force this on anyone. You have stuff to do and people to meet and affect. That baggage stuff is just story with some drama - it really does not matter.
And about thoughts, they are just like people, they come and go. What were you thinking about 3 hours ago. Who knows? - no one. The thoughts that are helpful are worthy of further consideration. The others should be allowed to dissolve back into the nothingness from which they came.
You are not your thoughts. Their arrival does not make them automatically meaningful. You are not even the mind that has the thoughts. You are the awareness that has this very smart and sometimes complicated thinking instrument that needs to be better understood and managed. This is a doable endeavor. I'll say more if you want me to.
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