Thoughts

This could go 1 of many ways. I'm pretty angry because I couldn't get to sleep until 4 am even then mostly tossing and turning. I vaguely remember dad's coughing earlier. Then I'm awakened to mom trying to serve my dad breakfast and him saying he don't care he don't want it to throw it in the garbage.

What set me off... BEFORE IM EVEN OUT OF BED is he goes over and over and over harassing mon saying give me a pill, give me a pill, give me a pill (I'm not saying the name of them). She states you keep asking me every hour and you only got 30 left out of 100 since last Friday.

I added the last part because its true. 70 pills in a week. Gone.

He don't care he still goes on and on for one because he's still in a drunken state. By this time my anger is lit 🔥😠. It still is.

I go in the living area stomping and banging things because I'm angry for them fighting and disturbing me because its bullshit and enough is enough because he thinks he can abuse all his pills , run out , then beg me for mine that in part is why I'm angry too he won't seek help and I can't escape nor get prescribed enough for 2 people when he bought what is over 2 prescriptions illegally to one 1 that I get . That's also why I'm angry he's so stupid like this

and I Can't sleep for stupid shit like that him and mom constantly fighting over drugs. Why won't she leave his sorry ass on the street? I'm serious i geek like committing murder the abuse won't stop. AND HE WON'T REMEMBER NONE OF IT AND I GOTTA LIVE WITH ALL IT IN MY HEAD AS MEMORIES 👺😠😠😠😠👿😠😠😠😠😠😠😠👺😠😠😠😠😠😠😠😠💢🔥🖕

Ok I told them how I felt but you know how that goes I goes I still get the blame 😤😠for the situation. I get told its not my fault you couldn't sleep WHEN IT ACTUALLY IS THE FIGHTING WOKE ME UP😠😠😠😠😠😠😠😠😠😠😠😠😠😠😠😠😠😠😠😠😠

So Im trying to keep from going off like a nuke again. Dad's really foolish he won't stop till they're near all gone and after all this with no memory I'm guessing cone begging for me like a little dog for my own legal ones which I don't abuse mine have legitimate issues unlike him abusing getting drunk every single month. I seriously can't stand anymore. I told mom this is bullshit ENOUGH is enough I feel like taking that baseball bat to his head he don't understand what he does to us or puts us through. I feel so defeated I have no way out of this nobody cares what I'm going through. Mom gives me a mean look I say don't give me that look. She goes shhhhhhh cuz drunky fell back to sleep like a little baby. I'm so angry and want vegeance so bad. Stress will kill you huh? Dad said to me last Thursday or Friday. Now look what I've had to put up with. I'm sick of being used, abused, verbally abused, invalidated , made a scapegoat etc . I hope dad gets what he deserves for making my life hell. Enough is enough dad straighten and act like a man not a childish drunk. I'm tired of suffering its been a week of little sleep and fighting and barely getting along. The weed clearly continues to contribute to his psychosis. I'm so through with this I wish he'd go be somebody else's problem.

P.s. if anybody has a problem with what I write (trolls or mean people) DON'T READ IT I don't give a fuck what you think. Someone mocked me here last night an immature mean person. That's why I don't enable comments for dumb awful people like that.

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