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4 months ago · · Stress,
I hate myself. Everything about me makes me feel so negative. I’m married, have a sweet child, and fortune enough to be a SAHM. But all of these things are so hard to juggle when I can’t even stand the thought of myself. I’m so bored with my life. I wake up, do the same things every single day, and struggle while doing them. Everything seems so challenging. Doing the things I use to enjoy take so much effort, like cooking. I feel worthless and awful. I feel so guilty that my husband has to deal with me everyday. I feel terrible that my son has me as a mother. I have no hobbies
They constantly money we simply don’t have. I don’t have any friends as I’m not from the town we live in. My mother has too many things on her plate to worry about her adult child and I don’t have a father. Getting a job would mean putting financial burden on my family. I know I’m depressed, anxious, sad, angry. So many strong emotions for one person. I’ve been juggling them all for a long time. I just want to feel like I’m worth something. I want to wake up and not be exhausted by my every day duties. I want to wake up and love myself, my home, my life. I want my mental health to be better, my health in general. I understand that there is counseling, but it’s far too expensive. I understand that there are resources, but we don’t qualify for anything. I’m stuck in a constant battle with myself and I just hate myself at this point. I feel guilty for everything, I’m angry all the time. All I do is cry. My husband is as supportive as he can be, but it’s a lot for him to handle as well. I even feel guilty about writing this post… how pathetic is that? I hate myself so much, my life has become too overwhelming. I’m sorry for such a long post.