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They are such lying fakes.
My mom always said that I'm too trusting, too caring and she's right. I had been tired so tired of being used as a spare. I really thought I made such great friends but no. I'm understanding, people have lives but this is the 21st century, texting exists. We could have still communicated. I cried, I was hurt the first year when they started to forget me. "Oh I miss you guys" they are such liars, they don't even know what miss is. One works at a grocery store I frequent, when I found out for the first time I was excited and said hi. They were so dry that I noticed everytime I went they would ignore me. Sadness flourished in me, I loved them. I was with them since middle school, I thought we were great friends. But then I remembered. Oh how blind I was. They left me in middle school to be with someone else, when the other person tossed them she came back. In high school she left me for the popular group. When they tossed her aside she came back. How stupid I was, I was her spare tire that she could always go to.
And the others they never texted as well, but I saw how they hanged out together. Some of you may think "oh then why didn't you engage first?" OH BUT I DID! yet I was ignored, because they had time for everyone else but me.
I was hurt, so hurt that first year. It pained me to know that our friendship meant nothing to them. And so I forgot, I didn't need them and I still don't. I was able to reconnect with two people I never really thought would ever be my friends. We don't see each other but we communicate on a daily basis and they are amazing. And then there's her, the one that understands me the best.
But this isn't about them, it's about those fakes. 8 years is a really long time spent together, but to them it meant nothing. They texted today and said how much they missed each other, how they missed US as a group. My heart didn't feel anything but resentment. Liars. Liars liars. How can they lie so easily?
I told my sibling, this isn't unwarranted, there's a reason why he's here. Reminiscing on the past that he so called "missed." And there it was. His other friends were too busy or out of the country. Once again, becoming the spare.
They want to meet up, but I don't want too. I felt bitter resentment when I saw those messages. I refuse to feel sadness again, to cry and think that there is something wrong with me when I know there isn't. To be abandoned once more as I have been countless times. I refuse. I am caring but I have learned to be indifferent and independent. When they said "missed," that is not what I felt. For it had been so long since I've last thought of them.
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