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I don't really know how to start this topic. What am i supposed to write here.
I'm 29 already, soon 30. Half life is gone.I argue many times on different topics because i always have my own vision and opinion, and people don't get that. Some say I'm rude, others I'm wrong.
I'm not afraid to be myself, but it doesn't help me to get along with anyone. I tried and try a lot in life but unsuccessfully.
Wanted to open a business - failed. Went to Uni - didn't finish it. Tried to meet with girls - every time rejected.
I'm single since i remember myself. Fk i actually never had sex so what the hell am I saying.
Hard worker, but everything useless. I live alone like forever.
I remember times when i had no bread on the table(i did not have the table even).
Honestly all i have is my mother and sister. We took care of each other. She raised us with absolutely nothing. Sister has her own family now, while I put all my spirit and soul into our small family to make and give her a better life, though usually is vice versa.
We used to live in an abandoned house. But people came around and bought that house so we had to move into the streets. I was like 6 at that time.
Growing up, i went through a lot of humiliation. Girls always rejected me. Kids were beating me. I was never accepted to play any sports. I liked football and basketball. But our class coaches never let me to participate in any competitions. And probably because of that i am always negative.
Now is better because I left that city and country moved abroad and started a new life. However, the scars from the past are always with me.
Now living the life alone. Trying my best to be optimistic and stay positive. Things that i never had or felt before, and its harder than anything else to do that.
If anyone read the story until here, than i want to ask next: What else shall i do to change myself or my life to better? Is there anyone else who felt alone and have had this negativity issue and got rid of it? If yes write some comments.
Because im ready to just go and kill my self.
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Hi there. I read what you wrote and your life got me shocked. I never really think about how other people live. Sometimes that's because I never really believe people go through these things. You're in a better place now. Being positive is better. I know the past can be there. The past is in the past. Don't worry about it. The past already happened. The future hasn't happened. So don't worry about that either. I haven't really been negative. Not that I know of. I do feel alone at times. Feels like there's no one out there that really cares. But hey, you have to stay positive and have motivation in yourself. It is hard to stay positive. It feels like things won't get any better. So it's like, what's the point in being positive, yeah? But you never know. Something amazing can happen in your life. But you have to do something. I don't know exactly what that is.. but I know you can figure something out. Don't give up! Aye, I know you don't know me, and I don't know you but I like to help. Life can get so stressful I know. It sucks. Sometimes I lose motivation in myself and I start to go down hill on my life importance's. Then it's hard to get motivation back. But I hope you have motivation and self confidence. Don't do anything to harm yourself. I'm sure you're a good man. I don't need to look at you to know that but the personality is a lot. Even if a lot of people say that I mean it. I'm sorry if this didn't help. π I wish you good luck!
ReplyI can't count the many times that I have sat by myself thinking of all the ways that I was a failure. I see that you too expressed frustration with how things were going in all 3 departments: love, social, and professional lives. I am much younger than you but sadness is a common acquaintance in my life as well. I'm going to be honest, I've thought of many ways to make the feeling of being inadequate go away but nothing has ever really worked except for one thing. I stopped comparing myself. Who said that not finishing uni makes you a failure? Who said that never being close to someone in a romantic way means that you can't be loved? Who said that because you tried things once, twice, or even more- that this defined you? Don't compare yourself. please. This need to feel superior to my peers and to standards crippled my hope. But slowly, I started to get my clarity back, and I really do owe it to God. Look man, I'm not trying to convert you or anything, but just give Him a try. talk out loud to Him, He'll hear you. All I can say is that once I started paying more attention to Him, even when I felt alone I had hope. Because I knew that this sadness would come to pass. And each day would bring a fresh start, a fresh start with the one who keeps me breathing and who has waited for me even when I wasn't searching for Him. Just my recommendation. I hope you end your day with peace tonight and just remember, you are here for a reason.
ReplyYou are in a much better spot now then you were years ago, remember that. Things have gotten better and they will continue to get better if you keep pushing forward, you should not change yourself and who you are. Donβt quit now king, you still have a long life of prospering ahead of you. One day you will open that business you dreamed of opening, and you will find someone who loves and cares for you. You had the strength to try back then, which means you have the strength to keep trying.
ReplyHey! You are doing well. Just keep being optimistic and positive. I also have a bit similar situation like yours. I am also trying my best to look for the good things in life. Let's just do our best and leave everything for future to decide. Only blessings for you.
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