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I feel a little empty at the moment. I haven't addressed this with anyone because it's pretty private and I don't want to sound like I'm a dick. But I'm married of nearly 3 years, I have a beautiful 3 month old daughter. Looking at her keeps me smiling. But I feel like my wife and I haven't been able to connect for a very long time. We have lost our sex drive. The last time we had sex was about a year ago when she got pregnant. I understood she didn't want to have sex while she was pregnant and then the recovery. But its been a year. I have a high sex drive, higher than hers, and I don't want to pressure her into feeling that she has to have sex with me etc as I know she is feeling tired with feeding our daughter.
Am I being selfish to wanting to be intimate with my wife? Should I say anything? How do I bring it up without sounding like I'm blaming her for not wanting to have sex? I'm starting to feel like she doesn't want to anymore, like I'm not good enough or look the best or even if she is attracted to me. Bloody mental health making me overthink things.
Anyways... thanks.
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I think it’s good to be honest with her but understand where she’s at has nothing to do with you and how attractive you are. If she’s tired and/or just not interested in sex it could just be that her hormones have changed since having the baby too. It’s important to talk so that both your needs are met without pressuring anyone into doing something they’re not ok with. It could be that she doesn’t want to have sex at all at this time and you’ll have to be patient. It could be that she does but is tired so you might be able to find ways round it. But if you don’t talk it will get worse and you’ll never know.
ReplyThanks for the advice. I just feel like it's a very hard conversation to start and don't want to upset her in anyways.
ReplyYou and your wife should see a marriage counselor. There is something very wrong going on here.
ReplyI don't think it's that bad. Like sex isn't everything in a relationship. We just need to talk about it.
ReplyIt's ONLY three months since the woman gave birth. It's a major thing to give birth. He's only focusing on when they last had sex. Her hormones are probably not at normal levels yet. Maybe she has pain in her vaginal area. Maybe she didn't lose the baby weight yet and feels out of sorts.
ReplyThis sounds like normal behavior after giving birth to a child 3 months ago. Stress and exhaustion can take a huge toll on sex drive. I don’t think you guys need counseling. But you should have a conversation with her about it, if it is really bothering you.
ReplyBut it's only three months since your wife gave birth. That's not long after a major thing like childbirth. Just because lots of women give birth, it doesn't mean that it's not a big deal for her body, physically and emotionally. You're just concentrating on the timeframe when you last had sex i.e. one year, not the amount of time since your child was born.
ReplyYou have to realise that now your wife is a mother, her first priority is her/your child. Your needs are secondary and may be secondary for a long time to come.
Reply