I pretended I'd died, my boyfriend didn't care

My boyfriend and I have been knowing each other for six years now, and got together three years later thanks to my confessing my feelings. Should I have not done that! These past years have been a narcissistic abuse after narcissistic abuse... and two months I decided enough was enough and I created a fake "friend" account with permission of a girl I know to use her pictures, got to know him "again" as her and discovered a completely different person who by the way had lots of time to text her but not even a second to spare for replying to my weeks-old texts (actually, he didn't even bother reading mine and I'd go weeks without meeting/hearing from him but if I stopped texting for two days he'd text "where the fuck are you" all mad that I wasn't contacting him). He liked all her pictures of course, many weeks later I had "her" post a message saying how worried she was about her friend (my name) who was in critical condition in the hospital et cetera; the bleak posts went on for about another week before the last one where my "friend" reminisced the good times spent together and regrettably shared news of my death. He never reacted upon any of those posts and kept talking to his friends online as if nothing had happened. It's been days and he is yet to even message her about this / look for news of me. He is peacefully having the time of his life doing anything but caring. I know for a fact he doesn't know I am behind this staged death. I haven't even left the house... but he keeps leading his everyday life as usual. As if I'd never existed in the first place!

In my 30 years of life I have gone through some major shit but, believe me, this is the last straw and I feel empty, I feel distinctly that I am never going to have the energy to try and have a human connection hence on.

I can't feel anything.