Leaving things behind for mental health

I recently had to leave my boarding school due to my mental health. Having 2/3 panic attacks every single day and having intrusive thoughts then screaming really loudly and leaving lessons every day due to this. Today, I found out that the boarding school won’t let me go back because I’ve “traumatised” a lot of people and because of the state I left. They said it’s too late to come back. And I’m trying to act like it doesn’t bother me or that I’m not affected by it. I realise that I’m lying to myself. And I need to learn to be okay with the fact that I can’t go back because of my health. But it’s just so hard