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Hey, it's Dr_A here again!
After helping a lot of you from my last post; offering support to many of you on here with mental health, and other medical conditions that people are challenged with, I would love to offer my support once more, to anyone out there who needs advice, wants to chat, needs to vent, or wants some answers about anything. Let me listen to you from within this thread, and then let's talk at Dr_A's Novni clinic š
Happy Friday, Dr_A āŗļø
If you see a comment that is unsupportive or unfriendly, please report it using the flag button.
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WOWO
So i recently wrote here that my boyfriend's ex has been calling him continuously and you all told me to trust him , i do. I love him. But he recently told me...
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JUST NOT FEELING LIKE IT
Hi, I'm a regular teen. But I feel terribly out of place nowadays. My mind just can't take in any studies since the past few months. I was once a kid who loved...
Hey doc ! I found ur post nd dont know why i thought like posting my cmmnt here. I was actually here just to write it down whatevr is going inside my mind bt thn i thought its better to talk to someone.
I think i'm going through the very low mental phase frm the last 2-3 days, nd nothing helped me feel better. I dont know why i feeling like everyone around me is jstt so mean, noone evr tries to understand me. I feel like people use me for their own sake nd not even care wht i want in return. Everyone takes me for granted, they think i'm there for them in their lows(which i m always) bt noone is available to me whn i feel low.... Why this happens?? Am i this much unwanted? š
ReplyHello Soul!
So, to me, it sounds like this all started around 2-3 days ago? It's important to try and understand what has happened in the last few days for you to end up feeling the way you do. Identifying cause can help you process things a little better.
It also appears that you spend your time giving out support to everyone else, and now, it's you that needs support, and that's okay! We all need to receive help at some point. Unfortunately, not everyone likes to return the favour, so you should identify who your closest friends or family are, and you should confide in them regularly. Having someone close to talk to on a regular basis, is essential to maintaining your over-all mental well-being.
If you are starting to feel that everyone around you is being mean, or refuses to offer any support to you, it's best that you distance yourself from that as much as you can and surround yourself around those that love and cherish your company.
In terms of managing your current feelings, there are things that we can do to alleviate these emotions.
1) When you start to feel down, process this, don't hide it away, writing down your thoughts, or talking to others will help you understand and process your emotions.
2) Exercise, and I don't mean go to the gym and start lifting weights, go for daily walks, visit your favourite coffee shop, listen to your favourite music - keeping active with something as simple as a stroll in the park has proven to have significant benefits physically, and mentally.
3) Spend time with your friends and family, watch a movie, bring them along with you on your walks.
4) Do what you love doing most! Practicing your hobbies will distract you, but itās important not to distract yourself too much, keep in mind what I said about processing your emotions.
5) talk to your closest friends or family, discuss your feelings, share your emotions together, and support one and other.
6) Shout for help if it all gets too much. If you can't manage your emotions, and things start going down-hill for you, it's essential that you ask for help/support. Mental health is as just as important as your physical health.
So, listen, your friends are important to you, of course you are going to support them when they need you, but you mustnāt forget about yourself, you are not worthless, you are not unwanted, you are just "unheard" ā make people listen to you, then you will discover who your true friends are, and they will be the friends that will be happy to receive your support, and give you support also.
If there is truly no one for you to talk too, and my advice doesnāt work, come back to me on this thread, and I will be more than happy to help.
Best wishes, Dr_A āŗļø
ReplyThankssš«..i think i can consider going back to the gym,which i left 2 months ago. And also i'll try to talk to my frnds, may be tht will also help me to identify the true frnds of mineā¤
ReplyHi! I just wanted to know if u were a real doctor or itās just a nickname? Also Iāve been diagnosed with mild depression and a general anxiety disorder. I donāt take medication because my parents didnāt like the idea of me being happy āsuperficially.ā One main things the doctor recommended me was excersise and therapy. I went to therapy for a month till I felt like I didnāt need it anymore. Idk if I found it helpful my therapist just taught me ways to cope but it seemed obvious. Recently, I havenāt been doing well. I donāt like how my parents react to mental health all the time. I donāt feel like they understand when they say they do. Iām doing something rn thatās hard on my mental health and thereās like no way to get rid of it. My parents kind of made me depressed by saying life is repetitive and like this. I just have to get through it. This made me feel worse because I know life is repetitive (thatās the main reason Iām suicidal.) they are obsessed with college and getting a job when itās far away. The more Iāve been thinking, I really donāt want to work a 9-5. My parents explain how theyāre always tired and they are just trying to get through it. The fact that they want me to have a 9-5 job makes me mad and idk what to do. I have no idea what I want to do with my life. Ig I want to be an actress because Iāve done theater a couple times and loved it. Itās one of the things Iāve actually have a good experience W. The acting industry is terribly competitive tho and I have no idea if Iāll succeed. I just need advice. My parents think depression is a choice. My parents tell me not to cry because it makes people weak. And they said that u shouldnāt let things make u feel so bad. It doesnāt make sense
ReplyHi there!
Yes, I am real Doctor ā UK Based.
So, when it comes to diagnosing Depression and Generalised anxiety in the UK, we assess people with the GAD and PHQ screening tools, depending on your scores, we can determine the severity of your diagnosis, which in turn, will help us create a treatment plan based on patient needs at that time. In America, they use tools like these also. Itās unfortunate to hear that your parents opposed of Medication, as medication can really help when it comes to recovery. With the information you gave, your doctor was probably looking at starting you on a short-term and low-dose course of Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIās) or Antidepressants as they are commonly known as, you would ideally have been given Sertraline or something similar.
When we create a treatment plan, we will usually offer medication, dietary/lifestyle changes such as exercise, and then access to counselling/therapy. There is a reason for this, counselling and lifestyle changes are great at combatting mental health issues, however, they usually wonāt work without clinical support (Medication). Research suggests that adding medication will improve your chances of recovery by a significant amount, and as you are not taking any medication, things are going to be a little harder for you.
If you can, visit your doctor without your parents, tell your doctor everything youāve told me, and discuss alternative treatment plans togetherā¦ Your parents donāt need to be there. It sounds like your parents are poorly educated around mental health, which is going to create an unhealthy environment for you when you need to ātalkā and ādiscussā your feelings with someone. Itās important that you find someone close to you, that you can confide in, talking to friends, and or, family, can really help you process your emotions. If you havenāt got anyone to talk too, please consider returning to your therapist, we donāt want you feeling suicidal, these dark and intrusive thoughts are signs that you need more support; Iāve listed my advice for you below.
1. Reach out to your doctor (without your parents). Together, you will be able to create a treatment plan that is best suited to your needs.
2. Find someone close that you can confide in regularly.
3. Exercise daily, that doesnāt mean go to the gym every day, it can be something as simple as a stroll in the park with your favourite music.
4. Maintain your hobbies and interests, keep going with the Theatre! If you want to be an actress, and this is something you really enjoy doing, then keep going with this.
5. Attend clubs and activities, socialising will increase your social circle, which will also give you more opportunities to talk about your feelings with others.
6. Write down your feelings into a notebook each day, then write down why you feel this way, even if you feel happy.
7. Research emergency contacts, suicidal thoughts are very scary, and we wouldnāt want you acting on them thoughts, if ever you feel like you want to act on your thoughts, there are helplines out there for you to use. NOVNI has loads of contacts for you to access in the āProfessional supportā section, save these contacts to your phone.
Mental health is as just as important as your physical health, and you deserve to beat this, and you can beat this. Whatever you decide to do, I wish you all the best.
Good luck,
Dr_A x
ReplyDo u have any advice for people who have trouble making friends? Or are lonely? I donāt mind being alone. But when I go to school/see online, literally everyone has friends or a friend group. I just donāt like being alone
ReplyHello my friend,
School/college/university is tough, especially for those trying to make friends or āfit in.ā It gets easier as you move through school, and eventually you will find your place. You may consider joining some extra curriculum activities? or after school clubs? If you have a group/club that meets your interests/hobbies, you will find people that share your interests, giving you opportunities to discuss, and create new friends.
Loneliness can be harsh on our mental health, and we want to make sure that this doesnāt become a problem for us health wise, keep healthy, keep strong, and keep loving yourself my dear friend.
Dr_A x
ReplyDo u have any advice on how to detach from people? There was someone who made me rlly mad because of how rude they were to me. I believed the words they said and I want to forget them
ReplyHello my friend,
When people say things to hurt us, it's normal for us to react the way that you have. It will be hard to move on from this, but you have to try and let this not fester in your mind any longer. Seperate yourself from this person as best as you can, cut them out, and surround yourself around those that love and cherish your company.
Talk about this event with friends and family, discuss how it makes you feel, don't ignore your emotions, talk to people close to you. I advise that you don't reach out, talk, or react to this person again, and eventaully, as time passes without contact, you will begin to move on, or detatch from this person.
Best wishes, Dr_A x
ReplyIs it normal to get constant thoughts of all the stuff u have to do? I find I keep getting thoughts like āyou have to do this when u get home, after this u have to do this etc.ā
ReplyHi there,
Yes - It is normal.
These are called compulsions; a beahviour in wich you feel strong urges to do, or ensure, that you do/complete things. We find behaviours like these in people with OCD, and although you may not have OCD, you may benefit from following some managment techniques, I've listed this below for you to use. If these tips don't work, come back to this thread, and we can try alternative tips for you to use.
1. Learn to Cope With Stress - like getting enough sleep, eating well, exercising, and even meditation.
2. Manage Your Anxiety - Learning techniques for coping with worry, such as analyzing the probability of what you're worried about actually happening and deciding how to cope with the worst-case scenario should it happen, is a valuable self-help strategy.
3. Practice Relaxation Techniques - Deep breathing, mindfulness meditation, and progressive muscle relaxation can be very effective additions to any OCD self-help strategy.
4. Get Moving - there is growing evidence that exercise such as running/walking may be an important OCD self-help strategy for reducing the frequency and intensity of OCD symptoms.
5. Practice Mindfulness - mindfulness emphasizes a non-judgmental awareness of bodily sensations, sights, sounds, thoughts, and emotions. There are a couple of ways in which mindfulness can help you cope with OCD.
Listen, I'm not saying you have OCD, but these self help tips from OCD guides could help you with these constant thoughts, if they don't work, we could be looking at something a little more psychological here, so please come back to this post if you see no improvement over the next two weeks.
Best wishes, Dr_A x
Replyyou have a right to forget anyone if you no longer value them in your life. don't let not forgiving someone and moving past anger affect your health. if you need to forgive someone and still move on past them that is okay too, it is your life. just cut all contact with them. i personally have a friend who goes back and forth on this and it hurts. so don't use circumstances to manipulate and hurt people because you are out to hurt them or get revenge. we're here to love and support each other, not cause as many problems as we can with one another. if you no longer value someone, just cut all contact and move on, and be happy for people when they are able to get on without you. that's real caring and love for that person.
ReplyHello Doc A! I don't have any questions rn but I just wanna thank you for being so kind here and advice these people. It's so kind and sweet of you to take out your time and help people here who absolutely need it. I wish you good health and good day! šš
ReplyKeep healthy my friend! I'm always happy to help where I can.
You can tag Dr_A in any of your posts if ever you need me.
Dr_A x
ReplyHi! I just wanted to say you are an amazing human being. I read your reply to my question as well as others. You really reply in great detail. You spend your time helping others on an anonymous website and it is really selfless of you. I've seen people on this site helping others but not as much as you. You write really long and helpful paragraphs. Seeing people like you gives me hope for this world. Like this isn't part of your job, you're not getting paid to answer all these questions yet you still do! I'm glad you've come to this website. Sometimes this website isn't always positive but it really helps to have people like you. Wow you are really great, take care.
ReplyThank you so much for your kind words!
If I can help someone with just my words, it's naturally within my nature to do so, and thats why I'm regularly using NOVNI to support those in need. As much as I love getting paid, nothing is as rewarding, as this has been.
Keep healthy, and best wishes
Dr_A x
ReplyI have anxiety and it causes me to get chest pain. It used to be very common but now not as much. I took a blood test and it turns out I have iron deficiency. I took iron pills for quite a while and stopped. I don't really get chest pain except very few times. Does this have an impact on my physical health in the long term? I've had years worth of anxiety and I read that anxiety can lead to heart problems. For a while I thought I was going to die haha.
ReplyHi there,
Anxiety can certainly cause chest pain, and this chest pain is usually not life threatening, so I wouldnāt worry about the long-term effects too much. There are studies out there that link cardiovascular diseases to anxiety, but there are a lot more factors at play here than just anxiety, for example, do you smoke, drink too much, are you over-weight? things like that, you will not die from anxiety alone, so don't worry. looking on the web gets you a slap on the wrist from me š
Anxiety can be managed by some simple "homely remedies" that you can try out yourself, I have listed a guide for you to follow as an example.
Do's:
1. try talking about your feelings to a friend, family member, health professional or counsellor.
2. use calming breathing exercises.
3. exercise ā activities such as running, walking, swimming and yoga can help you relax, I recommend going on daily walks with your favourite music!
4. Sleep - we recommend you sleep somewhere between 6-9 hours a night, if you struggle to sleep, have a look at some sleep hygiene guides.
5. eat a healthy diet with regular meals to keep your energy levels stable.
6. listen to free mental wellbeing audio guides.
Don'ts
1. do not try to do everything at once ā set small targets that you can easily achieve.
2. do not focus on the things you cannot change ā focus your time and energy into helping yourself feel better.
3. do not avoid situations that make you anxious ā try slowly building up time spent in worrying situations to gradually reduce anxiety.
4. try not to tell yourself that you're alone; there are thousands of people suffering from anxiety each day.
5. try not to use alcohol, cigarettes, gambling, or drugs to relieve anxiety as these can all contribute to poor mental health.
This guide was from the NHS-UK website, we use this guide as a template for patients to use at home. However, if youāre getting chest pains, you could be close to experiencing, or you are experiencing an anxiety attack, if you feel this sensation again, there is a 3-3-3 rule for you to follow to help you calm down and alleviate your chest pain.
Sit yourself against the wall, take 3 deep breaths, and maintain that breathing, then you will begin the 3-3-3 guide
*Name three sounds you hear.
*Move three parts of your body ā your fingers, shoulders, and then feet.
*And point out three things you see.
Anxiety can be difficult to manage, and some people may benefit from the use of medication, your doctor may be able to prescribe you a short-term and low-dose course of Sertraline, talk to your doctor about your anxieties, and see what he/she can do for you, there is a lot we can do to help you, my friend.
I hope this helps you, if my advice doesnāt help you over the next two weeks, consider visiting your doctor, he/she will be able to understand and help you out more clearly than I can, if you are not ready to visit your doctor, come back to this thread and give me a shout, and weāll see what else I can do for you.
Also, why did you stop taking iron tablets? I'm presuming your doctor stopped your medication? or did you stop them yourself? Iām just curious.
Best wishes,
Dr_A x
ReplyBtw thanks for the advice!!
Also I stopped talking iron pills because I had been taken them for a year. I still sometimes get dizzy if I stand up too fast but its a lot better than it was. I have yet to take another blood test, but due to COVID I haven't had a chance yet. I also read that taking iron pills if you don't need them is harmful because too much iron can damage organs. So I've just decided to hold off on them until I get a clear answer :)
Also do u have any advice on how much mg of vitamin C I should be taking? I take 2000mg but idk if thats too much (its pills.) I read that 2000mg is the higher dosage and to not exceed this level. I just take it because I feel like it helps with my skin. Also cuz of immune systems. I only got sick once in the 6 months so I hope its working
ReplyI would like to know why the Media and Governments shows a CGI of the supposed Covid 19 virus. Where is the PHOTOGRAPH?
ReplyThat photograph of the virus you see every day, is the closest resembalance you will get, unless you can look at the virus yourself under a microscope.
What you're seeing isn't meant to be pretty, it defines everything that we know about the anatomy of this particular cell. You can see real picutres of the virus online, take a look for yourself.
Dr_A
ReplyHey doc, I just recently made a post, but I think it's better to have some active help here.
Recently, around the 10th, all the people I usually talk to in discord just suddenly jumped ship, leaving me behind; even my friend of 11-12 years...
All the people really, were friends of my friend's cousin who just joined in about a year or two ago, so we still technically barely know them. We usually have our spats and banters, from petty arguements to telling vulger/edgy/over-the-top jokes to each other or in-game chats to other players (or each other, as if we don't know one another); genuinely trying to have a good time.
But honestly there's time where I feel as if I went too far, y'know? This has been a problem for me, I'm just not good at relationships with people it seems, there's really something wrong with me, and I know it is because why else would they just leave and pretend nothing happened? But honestly this just gives me a chance to re-evaluate myself, and get my life and self together. I want to honestly apologieze, but it'll just feel as if I'm doing a simple song and dance I've done before when I realize I took something too far, when I'm really being genuine.
I know I shouuld speak more on the others as... well the discord can get quite toxic even when I'm not around, but it feels as if it's not what the focus should be one, I don't know...
Replyhey :) i found your post and i kinda need some help... i've been feeling a sort of emptiness and hopelessness and sadness and the feeling that im living in a movie or dream or sort of like a third person perspective and sometimes anxiety this past year and it's starting to get rlly bad. like ever since mid october ish i've been having panic attacks and i had my third or fourth (most recent one) about three weeks ago while i was in the middle of a store... i don't wanna be dramatic but i've been feeling rlly overwhelmed lately and i've resorted to some pretty unhealthy coping mechanisms (not alcohol or anything, im a minor lol), and i just kind of need my feelings validated and need to know if there's smth wrong with me ,ā¢-ā¢, sometimes the feelings go away for like a week or two, but the dreaminess never really goes away and i've told my mom abt it and even the unhealthy coping mechanisms but she keeps saying it's normal and i feel like it might not be... it probably is, but i just sort of need a verification bc im starting to feel overwhelmed by everything and i don't know what to do, i just want to be let out of my cage of a mind
ReplyHi there!
Despair, the feeling, or sensation of emptiness, sadness, and hopelessness. We typically find these emotions within those people that suffer from depression and generalised anxiety, and if left untreated for a long period of time, people end up feeling overwhelmed, and will in fact, resort to unhealthy coping mechanisms, and depending on the severity, some people, will take to self-harm, or have dark and intrusive thoughts. Itās best to get on top of this as soon as possible before things get wore for you.
The fact that you are experiencing anxiety, and some form of anxiety attacks, also confirms Depression and generalised anxiety for me, and there are things you can do to help alleviate the symptoms of this, but first, you may consider reaching out to your doctor as soon as possible, your doctor will be able to help you a lot! Before you see your doctor, you will need to identify when these feelings/low moods started, where they started, and how often you experience anxiety, this will help your doctor establish a personalised treatment plan that is suited to your needs.
Anxiety attacks can creep up on us at the most inconvenient times, but they donāt just happen for the sake of it, there is usually a trigger, or event that causes this to happen. The fact that your most recent one was in a shop, suggest that your trigger may be something to do with social events, but there is no way to identify this without speaking to a professional mental health specialist, who are good at helping people with this. Look below, I have added management guides for depression and anxiety, I hope you find these useful:
Coping with Depression:
1. Stay in touch, donāt withdraw from life. Socialising can improve your mood. Keeping in touch with friends and family means you have someone to talk to when you feel low.
2. Be more active, take up some form of exercise. There's evidence that exercise can help lift your mood. If you haven't exercised for a while, start gently by walking for 20 minutes every day.
3. Face your fears, donāt avoid the things you find difficult. When people feel low or anxious, they sometimes avoid talking to other people. Some people can lose their confidence in going out, driving, or travelling. If this starts to happen, facing up to these situations will help them become easier.
4. Don't drink too much alcohol.
5. Try to eat a healthy diet, some people don't feel like eating when they're depressed and are at risk of becoming underweight. Others find comfort in food and can put on excess weight. Antidepressants can also affect your appetite.
If you're concerned about weight loss, weight gain or how antidepressants are affecting your appetite, talk to your GP.
6. Have a routine, when people feel down, they can get into poor sleep patterns, staying up late and sleeping during the day. Try to get up at your normal time and stick to your routine as much as possible.
If you are still feeling down or depressed after a couple of weeks, you may consider treatments that consist of antidepressants and psychological therapies, you should be able to easily speak with your doctor about this.
Managing anxiety;
Doās:
1. try talking about your feelings to a friend, family member, health professional or counsellor.
2. use calming breathing exercises.
3. exercise ā activities such as running, walking, swimming and yoga can help you relax.
4. We recommend 6-9 hour of sleep each night, its important to see your GP if you canāt sleep
properly, you can also access the sleep hygiene guide online.
5. eat a healthy diet with regular meals to keep your energy levels stable.
6. consider peer support, where people use their experiences to help each other.
7. listen to free mental wellbeing audio guides.
Donāts:
1. do not try to do everything at once ā set small targets that you can easily achieve.
2. do not focus on the things you cannot change ā focus your time and energy into helping yourself feel better.
3. do not avoid situations that make you anxious ā try slowly building up time spent in worrying situations to gradually reduce anxiety.
4. try not to tell yourself that you're alone; most people experience anxiety or fear at some point in their life.
5. try not to use alcohol, cigarettes, gambling, or drugs to relieve anxiety as these can all contribute to poor mental health.
So, look, these guides are good for somethings, but they may not work, so donāt feel deflated if you see no improvement, if you donāt see any improvement to your mental health over the next two weeks, you should reach out to your GP for further support, he/she will devise a treatment plan that will work with time, asking for help can be really tough, but once you make that step, you will feel a huge sense of relief and accomplishment! If you canāt ask for help right now, and these tips donāt work, come back to me on this thread, and I will be happy to help in other ways.
Stay strong, stay safe, and keep healthy!
Dr_A x
Replythank you so much!!
ReplyHey I have an important question. Do u have any tips on how to grow taller? I know it mainly depends on genetics. Iām not very lucky when it comes to that. Iām very short for my age and Iām getting near the end of my growing stage (Iām 17.) my whole life Iāve been made to fun of for being too short and I rlly want to try anything possible because Iām desperate. I donāt want to have the height of a 12 year old anymore. Everytime my height comes in a convo people are always surprised. Sometimes family members also pick on it and I really donāt know if itās possible. I guess I have to except it but I wondered if there is anything left to do? I still have 1-2 more years of growing I think (well I wouldnāt call it growing because I grow like half an inch every two years.)
Also any tips for weight loss? Iām not overweight I just want my belly to be slimmer. I exercise around 4 times a week w cardio and ab excursuses. I also try to eat moderately (sometimes I do have sweets.)
ReplyHi Dr. A!
What can I do if the people who are causing my pain and trauma live with me (aka my āfamā) as well as their friends (bec my sibling and mom badmouth me w/their friends and twist stories). Iāve been open about my suicidal tendencies and they think iām just acting up and they tell me āgo do itā i just feel deeply unhappy and crying doesnt help ease the pain anymore and i canāt do other things besides sleep and eat.
ReplyMy cuticles have become long and got small cuts that reach a little to my actual skin. It hurts when rubbed or caught, and the dry season hasn't exactly been helping. This is mostly because I've been doing crafts lately that require delicate concentration with my fingers.
Thank you Dr_A, we all appreciate what you're doing!
ReplyThey probably won't be back til tomorrow
ReplyHey doc! Someone told me about you, i really really need your help.i had sex for the first time and i was bleeding which was common ig then we tried it again and i was bleeding again which i don't think so is very common ,yes it was weirdly painful and then after those two times i tries to masterubate and i was again bleeding. I am really really concerned and scared . I Googled everything it was all about cervical cancer but i don't have any pelvic pain. I would really appreciate your help. I cannot visit a doctor here as no one in my family or in my society should know that I had sex before marriage.
ReplyHey, I am sorry you are experiencing this. I know you mentioned you can't visit a doctor, but unfortunately, for your own health, you are going to have to see a sexual health professional.
It is common to experience bleeding and discomfort for a few times after you lose your virginity, however, we expect this to subside after 2-4 times of penetrative sex. We may want to look and investigate possible PCOS and even endometriosis. In terms of cervical cancer, you will get screened for this as well, but it sounds unlikely.
Please, please, please see your doctor, I know it's difficult, but this sounds quite concerning, we would want to see you as soon as possible.
Best of luck, if you need any advice on treatment or prevention, let me know.
Dr_A x
ReplyDr_A, I hope you're around somewhere; I need you.
Reply