i just don't want to do it

i don't want to keep pushing for it. i'm tired. i'm stressed. i'm tired of stressing out. i feel like nothing of this is worth it. (note: i'm not suicidal, it's just the current situation i'm in. i know it won't last forever, but i would like it to end immediately). i just want it to be done. i feel like this isn't worth the stress. i might be depressed. i don't feel like it's worth it but i have to keep doing it because i didn't get this far just to not finish it. and guess what? my main motivator at the moment is because "then i'll be able to afford the lifestyle i want to have". "then i'll get paid better so i'm not constantly worrying about work". it's just so much pressure also. i really don't want to do it even though it seemed interesting at first. and after this, i have to keep going at it. i want to be done with this but i also don't want to do it. it's a constant fight with my brain. i have to do it today. i have to do it now.