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I've been eaten alive by fear for so long but I don't remember it being this bad. I'm not fully who I use to be but I have lost the better person I had become. Part of me knows it's my fault, but another part of me is just looking to be set free not wanting to acknowledge my mistakes, just wanting to be out of the hole I put myself in. But everytime I try to get out of the hole, fear of being free and exposed to mental attacks makes me sink back into the hole. But I'm smothering down here. I've contemplated suicide but I don't want that. Fact is I'm too scared to live or die. I need to change, but that feels so..... impossible right now....I just...need to feel hope...Need a break through so I can overcome my fear and accept Grace and Mercy and be strong enough to stand up against anything that tries ti put me back in the hole.
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So many of us like this in these days. Can only be great full for what we have, even if itโs just a coat on our back. Stay strong, be forgiving, understanding and loving. Life will have its highs and lows but it is what you make it in the end.
ReplyPsalms is a good place to start
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