Poem that will never be submitted

The thing about depression is that it leaves you stranded

Alone

With only yourself to bare

Trying with all your might to move your body from your carpet floor

Which you have been there for 5+ hours

Trying to convince yourself that you will study for your test tomorrow

As supposedly planned

Or you will get a jump at this poem you have to do for English class

But no matter your hearts desire

Sometimes your mind wins

And you stay there

Laying on the floor

Staring at the ceiling

Questioning

Wondering what your classmates are doing at that very moment of your despair

And wishing how you would rather be one of them

Somebody normal

But instead your left fighting with your thoughts

And it sounds silly

Because while people are fighting to stop global warming you are fighting with yourself to get up from the gosh damn floor

To get started on school

Well past your bed time

Which that bed time has gone out the window well before you turned 14

Then it hits you

Stress

Stress

Stress

But you can’t do anything about it

Than to curl up on your carpet

Look up at the ceiling

Even play your depressed songs

Which you convinced yourself that you need those to live

That it’s making it better

That music is the only way to get through the day

While subconsciously knowing the music you listen to is making you worse

But maybe that’s the point of depressed music

To feel comforted by something that you can relate to

The sadness in the beat

The sadness in the lyrics

Which the songwriter has probably had the same thoughts as you

But then suddenly you decide enough is enough

And sit up

Grab a random printed piece of paper from your closet

Which you can’t even tell what’s in there anymore

Grab a pencil with no eraser

And start to write the poem for your English class

Thinking might as well use what you just experienced as a poem for depression

Though you are too afraid to bring attention to that poem

Because you know that by writing you

Doesn’t make the hidden I’s go away