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I recently lost my cat who has been with me for 12 years of my life to a cancer and I've been feeling down ever since. Its cause me to not be able to focus with my studies and I don't know what to do.
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I can't even imagine what you're going through right now. I'm sure if you talk to your teachers about it they'll understand and maybe give you a bit of a break.
ReplyI lost my cat in November last year. He has been with me since I was about 6 or 7 years old. I can hardly remember a life without him. It was devastating, awake for hours late at night trying to comfort him as he died, trying to find anything at home that we could to make his passing easier. We knew he was old and his health was deteriorating, but we never expected his death to come so suddenly.
Just a few weeks later, my papa (grandpa) died.
And just this Tuesday our cockatiel died.
It's like being hit before you've even got back onto your feet. And a dark, morbid reality sets in. The death of a loved one is traumatic, it doesn't matter if they were a friend, a family member, a pet, a neighbor, a coworker. Death is tragic.
Listen, nothing can prepare us for grief that follows death. We can follow all sorts of books or articles about how to cope with the loss, and although very helpful, it'll only take you so far. Grief is a deep wound that requires a lot of recovery, and it will hurt. It will hurt for a while, and it may never go away at all. It'll only lessen, and episodes will be more spaced out. You'll be okay. You need to ride this out as best as you can. Reach out to your teachers and ask if you can be given leniency on any of you work. When you're overwhelmed with emotions, embrace them. They will pass quicker if you let them come full force. Then you can work on your studies once you recover. Reach out for support, if you can, and if you want/need to. Reminisce on good times, or talk about the struggles you've faced with grief, or just spend time together, whatever you need. Think about the life you've given your pet. 12 beautiful years of love and companionship, comfort, safety. 12 years for us is only a sliver of our time, but for a cat it's almost their entire lifespan. And yours spent that entire life loving you, and being loved by you.
Guilt is common in grief. We feel guilt for all sorts of things, whether big or little. In life we will always make mistakes, do things we wish we could take back, or wish we had done something we didn't do at all. Forgive yourself, i'm sure your cat has forgiven you. We do the best that we can in the moment. Guilt and regret can drown us, and when that happens it only increases the risk of making new mistakes that you'll soon regret too. Forgiveness is important. We can't undo what we've done (or not done), but we can take these mistakes and learn from them. This is the best thing we can do.
Take care of yourself. Pets can sense emotions. And pets can feel concern for those emotions. And pets can grieve, too. I'm sure, then, that your cat would want you to keep the good things in mind. They would want you to keep the love that they gave you for those 12 years and let it help you through this. And they would want you to keep them happily in your heart for as long as you are able to. For as long as you are able to, your cat will never be fully gone.
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