What are you looking for?
Featured Topics
Select a topic to start reading.
It's been a long time since I was here to write something, although to be quite frank I probably should have never left in the first place. I don't want to sound ungrateful for what I have, as I know there a millions with troubles much greater than mine. Despite all, I have this incredible empty feeling. I don't find joy in much anymore, and I feel as if the world is on my shoulders. In reality, my plate of responsibilities include class, internship, and a simple job. I feel as if I am constantly disappointing those around me. I am not a great girlfriend, I am a mediocre friend, a distant daughter and sister. At the age of 22 I should not be feeling as if I don't matter in the space I hold, but I have no idea how to change that. It's as if nothing has meaning to me anymore. I obviously still love all of the people in my life, but I feel drained, like I am waiting for a sunny day in eternal darkness. That may sound a little dramatic, but it's the most simple way to put it. I want to hide away in a hole that is just for me and ignore everyone and everything. I've always struggled with being extremely emotional, and I feel things to a greater extent than most people might. In a nutshell, my highs are high, and my lows are very low. Although, lately I just don't feel much anymore, I may not be sad but I am not happy either. I try to put on a strong face and face the world each day, but even that is beginning to slip. I keep feeling like I am failing, and I want to push more people away to try and prevent feeling like I continue to disappoint them. It's quite paradoxical, pushing people away to try and protect them. Or maybe it's more for me, I'm not quite sure anymore.
The world keeps turning and moving, when I want to hit a pause button and catch my breath. Maybe I'll try to plan to get away for a while, probably not, but it's a nice thought perhaps.
If you see a comment that is unsupportive or unfriendly, please report it using the flag button.